Control

Yet another grim black and white , English biopic about a pop antihero , but then again soap operas never interested me - anyway :)

Joy Division were never a band I particularly liked, although I saw them performing Transmission - many years later and this really stuck in my mind , and I’ve only recently discovered the sleeve design for their Closer record , so I thought I’d give this movie a go .

Set in Northern England , filmed entirely in black and white , it’s a rollercoaster ride of what I would call tragedy and wit - like ……. “play Joy Division you c**t …..” , and of course being an off the wall type of film - no doubt - doomed to obscurity to all but fans of the band , the total Englishness of it all will probably further alienate a wider audience outside of this sceptic isle.

I think the right wing leanings of the name - Joy Division - probably stopped me from
exploring their music any further in the past , plus the fact the lyrics are filled with death , isolation and urban decay probably played its part too , but the music in the film had a strangely hypnotic quality , which I will take another look at .

Now if I could only take a photograph like that on Closer…………..:)

Rose Tinted

New photo is called - Rose Tinted .

……..future’s not set ……………

I’ve actually found myself a Sci Fi series on T.V. that actually looks half decent , called Flashforward .

In which the whole of the human race falls asleep for two or so minutes and get a glimpse of their own future , it is a bit soap opera (y) in parts but seems generally ok , the end of last nights episode had a police officer looking at footage from all over the world just falling asleep but picked out on one guy who hadn’t ……………………

A promising start , but like most series I really do hope it doesn’t fall in to the too weird or soap opera - camps , I must admit I saw a connection with the series Lost somewhere when I was initially reading about it , so I was a little put off by this , and you know what I’m going to say next , don’t you :)

Lost is a series about absolutely and utterly ………..nothing :)

Nothing like being predictable :)


I noticed , when the end credits rolled I noticed , the series is based on a novel by a guy called Robert J Sawyer , and I thought I’d check him out and in doing so revealed the plotline , so if you don’t want to know – don’t do it :).

Personally - knowing what happens is irrelevant to me , as getting to the end whatever it may be is more interesting , thus I think I’ll buy the book which is slightly different to the television version , simply - as I’m interested in the concept of freewill and cause and effect - which runs through both , anyway I won’t say anymore as I don’t want to spoil it for you ……………well except ……………..the ship sinks in the end of Titanic ……………wooops ……………….

Crash and Burn

There are - two sides to every story and this is a well worn phrase , thus years of my own experiences dealing with people , always tells me to always take the middle path. .

With this in mind - I had one of our temporary members of staff - Steve , who had been suspended and was going to be fined for a breech of company policy - come up to see me today .

I took on board all he was saying , but later I had a conversation with one of his workmates who I deemed to be impartial , before hearing the management side of the story in a formal setting later on in the week .

When ever I represent someone I always insist they tell me the truth , as I do not want any nasty unforeseen surprises sprung upon me in the formal hearing , and it was obvious Steve - wasn’t.

I do wish people would realise this is of course totally counterproductive , as knowing the facts alters the way I prepare the case , be it damage limitation or on the offence

.The majority of these hearings do not want your blood , so if the case is a potentially lost cause - simply admitting it and throwing yourself at their mercy usually works , but my original information from Steve , suggested otherwise.

So I had to put Steve on the spot and say…..

…… “look - I know exactly what’s going on, and I suggest you tell me ……”

So to cut a long story short , and one damage limitation exercise later , which included a verbal warning , but no fine - we emerged from the hearing - relatively happy and more importantly - Steve’s job intact .

Eh ………. !!!!!

I was riding home on my mountain bike last night , and I saw a guy in front of me and his dog was running around not on a lead , so I slowed down and shouted -

…………..“ excuse me - can I be past…………”

Which I thought was a reasonable request , so after he shouted of his dog which had just fouled the footpath , he looked around and said -

…………“ have you got a bell on your bike , as its illegal not to have one “…….


This - of course is simply not correct , so I just said -

……….“ ok mate - make a citizens arrest , and we can go to the police station to talk about my bell , and also the fact your dog is not on a lead and fouling the path “ …. …………which is illegal .


Strange how he just shut up after that :)



Come In

Keith one of my workmates , for some reason , only known to himself always knocks on my door when he comes in to work and this has been going on for years and years and years ……………….

So today - I saw him coming and waited till he went to knock on the door and suddenly opened it , and of course he then fell in to the room , nearly giving himself a heart attack in the process :)

Weekend Warriors Part 2

I notice my favourite motorcycle company - Harley Davidson were mentioned on last weeks B.B.C. Business Program , and the report basically said their own business model wasn’t correct , due to them being out of touch with the market - apparently.

Hmmmm……and just who described their products as………………..

…...“tarts handbags”…..

……a while ago …
not me surely.. ……:)

….and on further reflection ….

…………I think I’m being unkind to the poor handbag , never mind the saucily dressed young lady carrying it - on this occasion :)



So because of this - can I see staff being re deployed from…..


…… Harley’s - Spangly , Sequin Department ……


…or even … The Expert - Diamante Division …….. being disbanded …….


....and what about the… “Gold” - Plastic Coated - Handle Section …...


……YE GODS……NOOOO…… NOT THE HANDLES …..!!! …. :)


No , and to be fair to Harley , they have been a very, very successful company , but its society that has changed , and you can have all the business models you want , but that particular fact stays.

The hard modern reality being - that your not a rebel if you ride a Harley , nor is it hip cool and trendy to own one - either , the problem being is 99.9 % of their rapidly diminishing customer base , think otherwise , in my own long experience .

I probably own one for the completely wrong reason – emotive , this bike has soul and as I said the other day I think they are art …………….

…….but hey what do I know…… I don’t pour pots of paint over my bike…… :)

KICKING and a SCREAMING…………….

Well - after all these years , I’m seriously thinking of having my very own website.

“Oh my god “ !!! …………….I hear you all thinking :)

So anyway - and after that particular revelation ……………..

I have been trawling the net as regards web hosting , site design etc – etc – etc ….. , but I’m still a touch – unsure - probably due to …way too much information……. :)

What I did find out during my extensive research , is you can actually use Photoshop, to create your very own website from scratch - including animations. , and on reflection - this option is probably better for me.

This is mainly because the majority of basic web page designs ( templates ) on most design / host sites , look fairly boring and mass produced , and I want something fairly unique , but whether or not I have the skill , time or patience to do this , remains to be seen………………………..

Y’know - this torn between the old and new - business , seems to be getting to me at the moment , as you have probably all probably guessed :)

This was further exasperated by the fact - I bought a laptop at the weekend with cutting edge - mobile internet technology with one hand , and a copy of Classic Rock magazine with the other , which seemed to be full of what seemed like teenage boys ……….sorry …sorry ……grown men …… arguing over who is the best
guitarist …!!! …which is something we used to do at school - aged 12 :) ……..
……….and this doesn’t help at all.

That aside, the magazine itself is a useful source of gig dates , and I also notice a few famous rock people were naming their favourite Beatles track in one particular
article , and not being a fan myself , can I nominate the first three seconds of a
Hard Day’s Night - as my favourite……………..

……………….sums me up …….. doesn’t it ……………………..

………………………….KERRRANG….. :)

Choice of Three

Well - its not very often you get one world class sporting event happening in my part of the world - never mind two , and on the same day ……..!!!

Needless to say I went to neither :)

Instead I opted for a trip out in The Dales to watch the bi annual reliability trails for pre 1964 motorcycles , over the wonderful , sun drenched hills and valleys .

I don’t know what it is about this event but its always as I said - warm and sunny , even on the top of the moors , which are so high no trees seem to grow , and a brief stop at a place called Stanhope Ford for an ice cream sets the leisurely pace for the day .

We were early - so took a trip out along a single track road , passing a hoard of model aeroplane enthusiasts flying their planes off the edge as we did so. I’d personally never been along this particular road before which just wound off into the hills , and half expected it to just stop as roads tend to in this part of the world , but eventually we came across a long line of large stone built towers , some ruined , some still
there - stretching off in to the distance .

Now I’m guessing this was an aerial bucket way of some kind , from all the old mines in the area which had lain disused for many , many years , and I looked for any trace of it on the mapping system at work the next day , but there was nothing shown , and the aerial photography from 1940 was unfortunately obscured.

I then noticed all the strange names on the map around that area - like – Dead Friars Bank , Old Man’s Grave , Horseshoe Plain and Tongue - sounds like the twilight zone - which probably explains quiet a lot :)

Well , and as for the main event of the day - this usually entails sitting down on a hillside among the heather on a warm afternoon watching the bikes roll by , beats marathons and cricket - world class or not – hands down :)

Ch - Ch – Change………………..

Now I touched upon this subject last week, and for all my positive thoughts on the matter I still subscribe to the……. “ if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it “ ……..school of thought in some areas - especially when the change or changes – sake crowd are involved , and this is probably on principle.:).

These situations are usually , further exasperated when I’m forced to change from a tried and tested method to a dubious new one , and as a rule - I do know humans do not like change , so I’ll take this out of the equation if I may , and apply common sense instead.

Change is excellent if applied for the right reasons – improvement , moving forward
etc – etc – etc …………., but change because a brainless idiot thinks his system is better …………
………well I think not , and there are numerous examples of this in your own lives and you certainly don’t need me to point them out to you

I’d love to be in charge of these idiots for a week and inflict change for changes sake upon them on a frequent basis – like………………..

………… Lets walk backwards today , sideways - tomorrow , and on our hands the day after ………..

…………. Lets change the characters on your keyboard to Hieroglyphics one day , Cuneiform the next , and maybe Latin – the next……………..

..................Lets all drink petrol instead of coffee……………………

……………….Sorry carried away – yet again - but you get my point :)


Talking of technology and change – I’m going to swear here and it’s an untwinkled one too :)

Yes that’s right , yet another one of Mr Gates “fantastic” updates for updates sake, which has been forced upon me as the old system will now not work.

Now - going off Microsoft’s previous record , this new system will - no doubt be untried and tested… ………………..but hey that’s what you the consumer are for :).

This time its in the form of the new version of messenger with its new enlarged… ………….storage space ………..F**KING WOW ……!!! .:)

I must admit on this occasion ,that I sadly fall in to the Keith camp by still having dial up internet access ( don’t ask ) and the program download is longer than the two hours you get before the dial up - cut off !!!

So to cut a long story short , I downloaded the program on to my memory stick at work and installed it on my home computer , but why do I get the feeling its not really any better ……………well except for the ……………

………………………..ENLARGED STORAGE SPACE …………..:)



Today’s Thought

Over the past few days I’ve got this strange feeling of something ending….., ……….something intangible…………but important …………………
……………………..I’ll probably never know :)

Technophobe City .

I had a terrifying sight appear before me today at work………………..

……………….it was Keith with an Argos* catalogue ….!!!....................

( *Argos is a shop in the U.K. which sells consumer goods )

Keith , as it turned out , wanted a new C.D. player , but he is a little old fashioned , to put it mildly.

Just to put that in to perspective - he asked me last year if it was possible to still get top loading washing machines !!! - something I reckon they stopped making
20 years ago - hence me trying to unsuccessfully hide under my desk when I saw him coming :)

So his required specifications were –


“ I want a C.D. player / radio/ tape player !!! with an /off button………………..

…………no - graphic equalizers , flashy lights , ability to copy disc’s………,

….I – pod docks , wireless controllers , sub woofers , bass boosts ,

……….or any of that other sh*t “ …….


………………..end of story……………..!!!


It complicated matters ever so slightly , when you had all the smartasses in the office chipping in to the conversation , and to the trying to confuse him even further by throwing irrelevant phrases like - Xbox 360 , Bluetooth, Wifi and PS3 in to the conversation, and then of course - Whatto got involved and started recommending £1000 plus Bang and Olufsen systems ….!!! .

So I sat and thought a minute and said ………………

…..“ Ok Keith – go to your local electrical shop, and ask the guy behind the counter to go in to the store room , and search out the oldest , dust covered boxes marked mark 1 - C.D. players , right at the back of the cupboard , probably next to the top loading washing machines and gramophones , and who knows you may get a two for one deal with a gramophone thrown in for free “ :)

………Surprisingly - that didn’t go down well – either and I was threatened with him never , ever coming to ask for advice again…….. …
…………….which can’t be bad …:)

No, seriously I really don’t mind advancement / change if its for the better, but change for change - sake , well that’s a topic in its own right …….

…………………and for yet another time :)

Behold my eye …………..

“Art can only be art if it has no other use” …………….

…………….. according to an expert on the subject.

Now with this in mind -

There was a debate on the BBC last week, asking whether graffiti was art or just plain vandalism , and this in turn had been brought about by Bristol City Council asking its taxpayers whether or not it should remove some of it’s own graffiti , including pieces by world famous artist ??? - .Banksy .

Well - graffiti certainly conforms to the original non functionality statement at the start of this piece ……. but is it or isn’t it ……..????

I visited The Louvre in Paris a few years ago , and the crowds around the Moaning
Lisa :) , were about 100 hundred deep, leaving the rest of the wonderful –
Leonardo De Vinci’s – just sitting - without as much as a second glance !!! , which I personally found – astounding !!! .

Talking of Paris - there was also an exhibition of Monet at the Orangerie , and can I put the metaphorical knife through canvas , and say I wasn’t impressed with this at all , and was more interested in the collection of street artists - work at Sacre Coer

Now can I go even further, and break the experts rules by saying I view motorcycles as art , thus breaking the functionality clause , but I’m not alone in this as The Barbican ran an exhibition of Harley’s as art , although - this , as I’ve said in the past does not excuse Damien Hirst’s - customised Harley in which he simply just poured paint over the bike !!!

I do not like traditional art simply because the artist is famous , or modern art because it is outlandish , there has to be some substance to it all, although saying that I simply cannot get away with mundane scenes portrayed in art - as a rule .

This would be for example - portraits , and to an extent – landscapes although actual old photographs of real life and people fascinate me , but that’s a different media altogether.

I suppose you have to accept - what I call traditional art for what it is - a fictional representation via the artists eye , as unless - it’s for example a posed portrait or maybe a still life , it is simply not a true representation of reality , as the scene you are painting is constantly changing , and therefore unlike a photograph – uncapturable , but then again that’s the point of it all - and people tend to miss this .

Modern art - I always think is truly abstract and there fore – totally personal , so unless you are attuned to the artist , you miss the point and dismiss it , now I’m not endorsing any of the more outlandish themes with this statement , as there have always been those to take advantage of this and other situations , especially in this particular field of contention .


Ok back to the original questions ……….


……….Is graffiti art ? ………… you bet :)

………are motorcycles art ? ………….OH YES…… :)

………..are Monet’s best viewed from a distance? ……yes about 100 f**king miles :)

…………Is modern art rubbish ? ……………95% of it :)……………..

………..am I an idiot ? ……………..most definitely……………… :)

Eccentrics Corner .

I was talking about our recent , national obsession in the U.K. with television chefs a few weeks ago , and a guy who was doing it before the current trend , has sadly just passed away.

The guy in question was Keith Floyd , who is probably unknown to you outside the U.K. , but rest assured he was the typical colonial Englishman abroad , and usually ended up with more wine and spirits in himself , than the dish ………………….

…………. “a drop for the pot and a drop for me………. “ :)

………………and of course ………everyone - even complete strangers –

…………”were his new best chums” * :)

( * friends )

Most charmingly though were his recipes -

Which were basically - a dash of this , a dollop of that , and a quick splash of something else , which just added to the nonchalant - craziness of cooking on the heaving deck of a small trawler at sea - in a howling gale , and however mad a picture this may have painted , it became acceptable with Keith .

I’ve actually got one of his books , which is part travelog and part cookery book , entitled - Floyd’s American Pie , although in his various T.V. series he has cooked for people all around the world from the African bush to the deck of the aforementioned ship, which all makes for excellent T.V. , and surprisingly - not very much - cookery information :)


Talking of his programs - I also notice bits of his old shows are being re – run as part of the B.B.C cookery extravaganza on Saturday mornings , which says a lot I
suppose , as you don’t normally see this happening .

I think what made these series different were the people involved , and I know this format has been done - subsequently, but Keith had an ability to disarm people , with his “ mad dogs and Englishmen “ – charm , which made for a natural and relaxed atmosphere up on the top of a mountain ……….. somewhere in Peru ………:)


Keiths last meal ????.........well that’s be ……..pheasant , oysters , champagne and a bottle of red wine ………..good on yer mate :)

View from…………

Please excuse my thoughts on this particular matter - as I come from a tiny little , backward , communist ran island , and no it isn’t Cuba :) , thus I know no better due to being brainwashed by government propaganda for years and years…….……..:)

No seriously - I find it extremely strange that American citizens are actually marching on The Senate demanding that President Obama abandon his plans for a limited national health service , and I notice he has subsequently , rebuffed those self same critics by saying….
......“they have vested interests “……

Now - I’m not going to get in to the ethics or indeed - politics of this - surprisingly enough , but will say that in the USA - folk - already pay their taxes for a communal - police , fire , defenc(s)e , public maintenance / sanitation and of course education services - to name but a few.


So why not a health service ran along exactly the same lines. ???

I’ll keep my promise and not get political on you all , and I’ll let President Obama answer that particular question with his above statement - i.e………….
…… “ vested interests “……


I do realise this type of health care is a completely new concept and like anything new its scary, and in our cynical society you are probably wondering –

“what’s going on here - I don’t get things for free in this day and age ” …….

….and quiet rightly so , but its not free you pay for it through your taxes.

Then there’s the governmental ran – question , and the concerns surrounding this point.

The thing is , if you think about it , and as I said earlier -

The police / fire services are in essence - government financed and ran , and there are no restrictions in these organizations be it - geographical or personal control –
you simply pay your taxes and the police / fire brigade turn up - when requested , and an American health care service could quiet easily be ran on this basis , as the systems are already in place with other existing agencies and just require a slight adaption.

I do admit our own health service ( The NHS ) has been going steadily down hill over the past few years due to the politicians here trying to privatize it – there’s a warning
here , but still remains in the top three in the world alongside France and of course our old commie buddies - Cuba …….saying nothing here :)……

…only at the bottom …………..

A question ………….. where’s the best place to get a puncture ……..???

…………..……..on your drive …………..:)

If nothing else - this means you can change the wheel in relative comfort with a nice cup of tea , away from the trucks thundering by at 90mph, idiots on cell phones ..
…..etc - etc - etc .

I discovered my very own puncture on Sunday morning , and as I’d never changed a wheel on a car before, so it was going to be a “bit of a prospect “ :)

I had the forethought to buy the added extra - spare wheel for my car a snip at
£130 !!! - a while ago , and all the essential tools were surprisingly - present too , so it was off with the damaged wheel and on with the brightly orange painted spare with a minimum of fuss - which surprised even me – considering :).

.I usually fix my own punctures on both my mountain bike and motorcycles , but cars are a different proposition , requiring specialist tools , so it was on the phone to the nearest tyre specialist who could do it in 30 minutes .

Now - as I t turned out the nail had damaged the sidewall , so it was a new tyre time , but the guy fitted it for free and re attached the wheel back to the car for free, commenting as he did so not very many people remove their own wheels in the first place , which elicited stories of me fixing punctures by the roadside on my motorcycles …………which I wont elaborate on , as this piece will be miles long :)

So I’m stood there waiting , and listening to the story of yet another guy, who I presume was selling cartons of stolen beer , having a Kebab ( a type of Turkish food ) thrown at his car the previous night !!! , when several police motorcyclists ride past at very high speed with their blue lights on , closely followed by several guys on bicycles at equally high speed - I’d forgotten it was The Tour of Britain – cycle race passing through or city , thus providing free entertainment away from the oily , gravy stain on the aptly named - Mr Kebab’s - car :).

Later on there was selected highlights of the race on ITV 4 which is a satellite channel and from one of the camera’s you get a very quick flash of me standing talking to
Mr Kebab , and I’m now hoping there won’t be a subsequent , re run of this film on the crime fighting , U.K. television program – Crimewatch – either :)

Nu photo is called – Northern Autumn .


I always like to put images to my words, hence the photograph and prose bearing the same title , I’m not sure what inspired what , but I think they go together fairly well.

The prose is merely an observation of three different Autumnal scenarios , whilst I was sat in the garden - far distance , near distance and of course , much closer to hand. .

The photograph itself - is simply just another of my slightly modified - snaps.



Northern Autumn


Cathedral bells peal an affluent tapestry of ages gone……….

While in the far , radiant distance …. the true organic rails of gold stands as an end to summers weakening resolve , the assembling chill of isolated austerity , signals - natures seasonal slide in to the heady ether of addiction.


Closer to hand …. Mother earth - now turned upwards to the unblinking solar stare for the driven carrion enravagement , their swooping , shadows now frame the easily relinquished vibrancy of summer in a shocking flurry of burnished noir,
and shrieks of iridescent ecstasy.


Above …. A quiet flourish of leaves become tinged with awareness of transition , their chameleon colours studded with a tempting array of burnished , vermillion berries , further leadened by the moist decay of the suffocating richness of the land .

The subtle seasons now enfold out on to the waiting land as parchment and age dried ink , enshrined with the message of calm change - to those who listen…………………
………..as a subdued summer ends its role on the stage of life in a shining, soliloquy of ebbing gold and metaphorical mists…………………….

Kill the King .

I saw a serious documentary on T.V. last week which stated that one of our medieval king’s - Edward IV was supposedly illegitimate - thus none of our current royal family has any right to the throne , and instead a guy who emigrated to Australia in 1960 is supposedly our rightful king …………………………….


http://www.channel4.com/programmes/britains-real-monarch


Hmmm …………revelation upon revelation………………

The documentary as a whole , seemed to be well researched and presented - I do admit - but like most programs of this type , the real problem was the omission of glaring historical facts to prove its own sensationalist point .

Ok - hands up all those who remember the ye olde Norman Conquest of England in 1066… by the ze evil Norman French ………………BOO………HISSSS….:)

Just in case you don’t know , this being the self same - Norman Conquest which totally and utterly usurped any legitimate English born royals , by force of
arms , and this was 100’s of years before the reign of Edward IV .

Then of course who can forget - 1688 , when the officials of the time - subsequently - invited the Dutch royal family to rule over us …………………..

( The royal in question being William of Orange / 111 of England , who had a claim to the throne by marriage , but he was still deposing a “legitimate” king - in
doing so.) .

So where does that leave us - other than in a mess - as usual :)

Well - I suppose this does historically prove our current royals have no right to the throne , without using the hear say of illegitimacy , but then again , neither does our Australian friend ……………… come to think of it ......................oh dear ……..:)

……..errrrrrrr……………ok……………errrrrrrrrr……………….

………did I ever tell you the story of me being related to some maniac who sits on the shoreline on his throne * , and additionally my own amazing wave stopping abilities…………..

……………oh yeah - i can burn cakes quiet well too **………:)

……………………no ………………..

…………………probably just as well …………….. :)


( * King Canute - tried to command the waves , ** Alfred the Great - allegedly burnt some poor woman’s cakes - they were both pre Norman Kings of England )

What's in a Number

Keith- one of my workmates - was saying it was the 9.9.09 today.

So him being superstitious and me being a little naughty , I said -

“flip it over - and you have got 666 “

- well ok 6606 - which actually sounds like a phone number ……….


……” hello operator can I speak to Mr Louis D Fir ….on 6606 “ …..


“ sorry sir we don’t have that number , we have Louis C . Fir on 666”………:)



Don’t worry I’ll get my come up pence – one of these days :)





The Den of Iniquity
------------------------------------------

There is of course still all this fuss - circulating , about how the armies of criminals out there are stealing music and movies, and because of it - the poor and destitute film and music industry are now down to their last few billions :)

In the past , this alleged criminal activity was usually countered with the threatening looking advertisements on the front of legitimate DVD’s , which all seem to have curiously disappeared , and of course who can forget the propaganda about the profits from copies being used to fund terrorism and crime .

Now in its wisdom - and after taking the hardened criminals ………
no…….. no ……..sorry it was a 14 year old girl …………. to court , the industry has decided to try to appeal to our better nature , in a blaze of expensive publicity it has set up a body of people using amongst others the old - “our profits help to establish new talent “ – angle.

Well can I offer some real words of wisdom to you ……………

Forget the corporate threats , expensive advertising campaigns and counter productive law suits against children…………………..

……. and just ………..REDUCE YOUR PRICES……….simple as that ………… :)

This of course , knocks out the need to buy copies , hence putting the criminals out of business , and with no funding of terrorism or crime - the DVD / music industry can then rebrand themselves as Marvel comic, style heroes , fighting crime …………

……I’m not getting totally ridiculous here am I ……..surely not :)………

( on ) Temperance Hill ……………….

A very good friend of mine has been recently diagnosed with liver problems , and I’ll be blunt about the causes , as its self inflicted to a degree , due to very heavy drinking and other various substance abuse over the years .

Now I do not judge people and certainly do not intervene , unless asked , but the problem now is he’s now more depressed about stopping drinking then he is about the illness itself , which is understandable in some respects, but not in others .

People come to me for advice , but I don’t drink , don’t smoke … what do I do..:) ,
so it can be very strange dispensing advice from “temperance hill “ – so to speak , but in my own mind - anything goes as long as it doesn’t harm anyone , including
yourself , which I suppose is a variation of “everything in moderation”………
…………but on speed :)

This of course - I don’t mention , especially , when I talk to people in this and other predicaments and its probably just as well in this particular case , as my friend has now decided to go back on to the drink .

So “in my wisdom “ - I’ve decided to try and gently nurture his interest in other things , as I suppose this may try and take his mind off the demon drink - so to speak .

I reckon we all need an aim in life and if we lose it we tend to relapse in to a non - world that is provided by for example – drinking.

Now I know there are alternatives to the avoidance , if you can call it that , of humdrum life but in a less destructive way, and hence my strategy – we’ll just have to see what happens……………………..

“To look after and sort out “…………..,

Hmmm ……….not quiet as catchy as to ………

....“protect and serve” …

……I do agree - but hey it means the same thing in the end , although I think my ad man may receive a call on this subject :)


Yes – where’s this one going I hear you asking yourselves……yet again ………

Well - take a look at the photos above , as D.T.
( pictured ) and myself , were out on site in our vehicle last week , and we were driving down a very steep hill , when I saw a cement truck had dropped a very , very large piece of wet , but setting very rapidly concrete - slap - bang in the middle of the road !!! .

This spillage was at least 6 inches thick ( 15cm ) , 20 inches wide ( 50 cm ) and at least 20 feet ( 600cm ) long , and as I say setting rapidly , so us being the good samaritans in disguise that we are , I directed the traffic and D.T. cleared it all off the road - at great bodily risk to ourselves I may add .

Now on reflection - I always get the impression that this kind of public spirited behaviour is frowned upon now a days by some sections of society , and although we followed all health and safety procedures to the letter as regards removing this
hazard , if there was an accident due to our actions we would probably be liable , regardless of the mayhem an unexpected concrete barrier in the middle of the road would have definitely caused to drivers .

Damn if you do damn if you don’t :)

The Hairy Who ????

Now for some strange reason we in the U.K. have an utter obsession with cookery programs, and this is getting so bad, nearly the whole of Saturday morning television on the B.B.C is dedicated to it , as well as several other various slots during the week .

Heading one such program is a couple of guys entitled - The Hairy Bikers , who both come from my part of the world , are hairy , cook , and supposedly ride bikes .

Now I say supposedly , because of a tale relayed to me as regarding this pair attending a motorcycle rally recently, and after being asked to judge one of the bike shows they actually had the audacity to ask for money to do it !!!.

Real bikers do not do this sort of thing as a rule , so they were both consequently told where to go in no uncertain terms…………………….. .

Now with this in mind , I’m just wondering if its Bear Grylls syndrome at work here , in which he pretends to live in the wilderness/ jungle / desert but stays in a five star hotel , but applied to this pair as regarding bikes ???.

The Hairy B’s - being in my opinion , a very poor facsimile of the genuine article, and this just happens to be a pair of elderly ladies , who used to ride around on a Triumph Thunderbird motorcycle and sidecar , whilst cooking food for all and sundry and this was entitled - Two Fat Ladies .

http://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=SOBxo1axYaw

Like the program itself , even the title of this is charming , and the politically correct have no place here , as these two were real characters …
………….although - don’t mention the hare coursing :)

I liken this kind of spirit to the last surviving First World War veteran who said his own longevity was down to ……

……………drink and women ………


……….probably like the two fat ladies ...

…….marvellous ………:)

Wasted in Emerica :)

Well - aren’t tour shirts an amazing source of information and amongst the standard issue - Motorhead , Kiss , Iron Maiden – etc – etc – etc …………I spied a gem - a
Love / hate tour shirt , which told me the first time I’d seen this lot was April ‘92, and yes that was in the workingman’s club down by the seaside , just past Bladerunner City :)

If my memory serves me correctly , that particular evening was mild but it rained all the 90 miles - there and back . I had my Hatrley Electraglide – Marilyn, in those days, and being a tourer , it at least gave me at least some protection from the elements , but not from one of my mates running out of petrol on the way home
at 12.00…………….. .

This was unlike last night of course – as it was off with the Roadking screen and on with the open face helmet, totally ignoring the lying weather forecasters predictions of monsoons , typhoons , plagues and what ever other ridiculous , rubbish they talk about :)

Errrrr …………..guess what they were right ……….. and on the way home the torrents of rain could have blasted all the paint off my bike , never mind any purple bird cr*p :)

This must have been divine retribution for me bad mouthing those poor weather presenters …………or and even worse ………

…………………..praying at that evil church of metal…. !!! …:…….

……………………………..yet again ………….:)

The evil gig :)………….well that was excellent , and the guys haven’t gone the Samson route , after cutting all their hair off……….shock ……horror….:) , as the last time I saw the singer of the band , he still had hair , but was attached to a cross on the Y of the Hollywood sign …………I kid you not ……………………..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOwKav3WR6Y


I reckon anybody who slightly likes rock / metal will like this lot , so I think I’ll let you decide for yourself, so here’s a few links -


http://www.lovehate.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXFM3TpvfWQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhHYwd6OHRI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqcycRI4R2I

Detroit ………where ??? :)

My part of the world has always had a bit of a reputation on the gig circuit for being a discerning , thus a very hard audience to please , which tends to make our touring musician friends work a little bit harder , and those in the know do realise if you put effort in to your show and win us over , you have fans for life.


Going back maybe 10 or so years , there seemed to be a lack of suitable musical venues in my area , as places either closed or stopped putting on bands for some unknown reason , hence it was either travel or don’t see any bands !!!


So it was me on tour – never mind the flippin’bands :)

This took me to places on my Harley I never knew existed -

Like a pub in the middle of an industrial unit which looked like a war zone.

A venue under a railway bridge - next to an urban farm and the local chop shops
( chop shops are illegal places where stolen cats are taken ) .

I’ve ridden past areas where chemical works light up the entire night sky to obscure working men’s clubs in seaside venues , and of course a mock gothic theatre lost in a maze of back alleys - to name but a few………………. .

I always , half expected there to be an empty space where my Harley was parked when I came out of these places, but it wasn’t touched – not even once .

Well except for the time I parked it in an empty space under a tree , and came back and the bike was literally covered in bird cr*p ……… purple bird cr*p ………!!!

This was bad enough , but as the birds had been eating - purple acidic berries, which was so corrosive , I had to polish out the purple marks on my bikes alloy with a mechanical polisher !!!


The thing is - common sense has prevailed at last , and we have at last several venues catering for different sized bands , so tonight - its retro time - yet again with 80’s trash rockers from L.A. – Love / Hate , for me :)

Talking of L.A., - it seems my part of the world seems to be turning in to it , what with the story of two guys driving along shooting at each other in their cars , and one car ended up- upside down with the windscreen blown out by a shotgun !!!


Hmmmm……… maybe the red and blue bandannas are essential wear tonight , and possibly an AK47 …………….just in case :)

1.9.09

A question - is the tradition of a ” nip and a punch “ at the start of a new month - universal ? , or just another quaint old English custom which is used as an excuse to beat your fellow human up ………………

……….OUCH……….OUCH……….OUCH ……….:)