Pigeon Post

I heard an almighty bang one particular evening a few weeks ago , I looked outside and saw a poor pigeon had obviously flown in to an upstairs window , and was unfortunately dead .

After removing the unfortunate bird , I then noticed it had left a ghostly impression where it had hit the window ( photograph above )

The image , as you can see , is fairly perfectly formed - but negative ?? , and I suppose it was made by something on its feathers – dust ??? , although it looks like there is an impression of its face / beak there too.

Weeks later, and after various the wind rain storms we call summer here :) , and the impression is still there .

Now - I’m not going to even get in to life force transference or souls – etc - etc , because I don’t really believe in it , but it is nether the less – interesting .




Turn of Phrase

I had a 99 yesterday , which is basically an ice cream cone with a stick of chocolate in it , and the guy serving asked me if I wanted any raspberry sauce on it, so I said you mean …………

………………………..“monkeys blood “……………………… ..

……and he just looked at me , as if I expected him to go execute some poor simian and pour It’s O positive all over my vanilla cone - rather like you non northern English folk out there I suspect ……………………

Now thinking about it - it is a very macabre - turn of phrase , and now I’m just wondering where it actually stems from , as I reckon its probably not the best sauce to have on your ice cream , well unless you’re a vampire on holiday at the seaside -
of course :)

Most phrases have at least some grounding in reality , but I cannot for the life of me work this one out , the blood bit I can relate to …..errr …..partly…. because its red , but the monkey …….no way……………………...

Hmmmm ………Why can I feel - writing a Wikipedia subject - coming on here :)



Bank holiday in the U.K. on Monday……… so I’ll be back on Tues :)

………….why do I bother :)

I heard on the grapevine last week , that our local Harley shop has just changed
hands , so against my better judgement I thought I’d have a ride up for a look on Saturday , mainly because I needed a fastener for the saddlebag on my bike .

So - after fighting my way through the armies of stereotypes sitting outside listening to both country and western :) , and stumbling over the overpriced “tarts handbags” that pass themselves off as Harley’s now a days, I eventually made it to the spares
counter , well I say I made it to the counter - there was a queue.

This normally doesn’t bother me as people tend to know what they want , except this is a Harley shop full of what seems like , idiots trying to decide whether they want chrome or nickel plated concho’s on their “tarts handbag”…….sorry Hog* :)

( * old slang for a modified Harley )

I certainly do not dress or indeed , look like a Harley rider , so one of the concho boys in front of me , decides in his “wisdom” , I must be a novice , and then proceeds to lecture me about Harleys , and how many he has owned in the five minutes since he started riding them :) , so I’m stood there saying - without a trace of irony – honest :) ……

……….. “is that right”………..” hey - you must be a real hardcore rider “

…”wow”…..……”I’m impressed” ………..etc …etc…etc…….

So I just give him the old …………..

………….”I’ve only got a car, and I’d love a Harley , but I can’t ride a bike “

…………………….with a plan forming in my evil little mind ………….:).


.I eventually get served , and wander back outside to the strains of……….

…………”my doggie has died “ …………( is this country or western ?? :) )
…
…………….and see concho boy sat with his mates in the distance .

Now for those who don’t know , big twin Harleys do not need a key to start them , as there is a simple switch on the dash between the petrol tanks.

So I nonchalantly walk up to the intrepid little gang , swing a leg over concho’s bike , start it up , and say……….

….. “nice bike - can I have a ride” ………and then click it in to gear…………..
………………….and zoom off up the road……………

This was truly one of those Candid Camera moments - as suddenly a person who could not ride a motorcycle , unexpectedly just takes off with your bike , and the look of absolute shock / horror was priceless :)

Mind you - I do admit - I gave him his “handbag” back pretty soon afterwards as I certainly didn’t want to be arrested for theft , or indeed by the Harley police for not wearing their official licenced products :)

The T word ……..yet again………….

I notice there was a sharp condemnation of the Scottish Government in releasing the supposed Lockerbie bomber - Abdelbaset Ali Al Megrahi. , by both – The White House , FBI Director , several American politicians , and of course the
U.S. relatives of those who died in the plane.

Now as a result - It seems The Scottish Parliament will be recalled early to debate this issue , amid accusations of lucrative trade deals with Libya.- because of the release, and this is the latest in the long running saga amid stories of - scapegoats , secret talks and clandestine involvement.

To be honest I think you will never get a true representation of what’s really
happened here , hence all the official - distancing , speculation and condemnation , which is currently flying around , which all detracts from the big picture as usual , where politicians and authorities are all concerned.

The Scottish Justice Minister on Monday , totally deflected over half an hour of questioning by various M.P’s by basically repeating the same statement over and over again………………

The U.K. Government meanwhile denied any involvement in the decision , and of course any deals with the Libyans both now or in the past.

Then you have American authorities getting in on the act - a country who’s own legal system is highly questionable as regards terrorist suspects.

To top it off you have – Colonel Gaddafi orchestrating Megrahi’s homecoming , and making it fit for a returning hero !!!.........
.......UNBELIEVABLE


Whether the release is right or wrong - the people who I really feel sorry for are both the U.S. and U.K. relatives of those who died , having to put up with this circus on top of the grief of losing their loved ones

The “winner” in all of this , if you can call it that - well doesn’t that just look like the Colonel…..!!!.............

Confessional .

It’s odd when you get somebody you have known for ages , coming out with the phrase………………. “ I’ve found the best thing in my life - ever “ .

This – considering the person involved , definitely set my own mind racing to several different conclusions – love , money , wisdom ???? , but unfortunately not to a false , fantasy gaming world which costs £30.00 a month.


Now I love computer games - albeit the “kick the door in and throw a grenade in” type , and I can really understand the ultimate addiction of them , but In the end they are not real life , and you do not have - three lives , magical powers or indeed –

……..a lazer rifle……well I havn’t – anyway …… ………………
.
……………………..but if anyone has got one for sale ……….:)



This cyberworld is definitely not confined to children / young adults , either as
The Nintendo WII amongst others , certainly targets adults, encouraging then to play tennis, golf and participate in other “keep fit games” in a virtual world , within the comfort of their own home , which is essentially no different to what their own kids do , but conversely is what the adults “tell them off” for doing .

I know , other more qualified / experienced experts have mused that there could possibly be a generation in the near future with absolutely no social / interaction skills due to the advent of cyber worlds , but I reckon this is taking its toll on the adult society right now .

Now as I’ve said before , I personally use my computer for both online and gaming purposes for far longer than I should , but I know when to switch off and I can really see how this can draw people of all ages in , addictions are of course a truly human trait and range from - eating , keep fit , smoking to collecting things and about a million others in between :) , and this is yet another extension to this , except with potentially - more serious consequences in the future .

Now I don’t want to get in to the realms of sci fi here , but you can see the politically astute tuning in to this , if they havn’t done so already , and turning this to their own ends , I can’t really comment on what would happen in reality , and I’ll leave that to your own imaginations but I do reckon it wont be for your own good – that’s for sure .

Spaced

Nu photo is called - Spaced

Metal on the Move

We are off to see a band called Saxon in a few months time , one of who’s tracks is called - Wheels of Steel - in Evil Don’s car which just happens to be called the same silly name , and yes its finally fixed and runs “perfectly” with its shiny new exhaust ……………..well for the moment …………..:)

The not so - down on their luck band - Anvil are supporting Saxon , and that’s the real reason why we are going - to be honest - oh don’t we English just love the under
dog ………especially ones that lick your face after you have fallen off your bike :).

Anyway - the gig itself is in the place that was the inspiration for Bladerunner ………
…..Hong Ko………no hang on its ……..Teesside……… :)

Thus - last week - we did a little explore of the area as regards , car parks and where the gig actually is , mainly because neither of us have been to this venue , and with Bladerunner in mind , I also got a few moving shots of the industrial landscapes through the vehicle window , which were disappointing to put it mildly.

Many years ago my dad used to work in this particular area, and I can remember going with him on the odd occasion , and being taken aback by the sheer size of the place, but what sticks in my mind was an odd smell hanging around , of which I can only describe as being like - air leaking out of a car tyre - bizarre .

So - the plus point of these trips is I can remember roughly how to get in the middle of the chemical works , and of course now I can try and take some proper - atmospheric photographs , and I may explore this over the coming weekends , so you can expect an epic tale of me falling in to a vat of chemicals and ending up like
The Joker from Batman ……………

…”anyone wanna see a pencil disappear “…. :)

Trampled under 12 inches * :)

( * with all apologies to Led Zeppelin )

I got to admit - I just feel like I’ve been ran in to the ground by a heard of buffalo’s this morning , and not licked on the face by a small dog - yes I’m glad I can laugh about it :)

My painful predicament was brought to my attention at 4am this morning when I was awoken by what I thought was heavy rain , but this turned out to be a bust water
main - merrily dumping 100’s of gallons of water down the street ……………….

So one phone call later , had a gang of bemused employees of the water board looking down the hole , as if they had never seen this kind of thing before - which is not very confidence building - is it :)

A question - is there a difference between confidence and blind stupidity ????.

I only ask as I’m sure the latter is my own forte , as all aches and pains were forgotten the moment I got on my bike , bade farewell to the perturbed English water workers and tore off to work at the usual rapid rate of knots ( sorry ) :)

Thanks for your messages of sympathy ( wrong word here – maybe :) )
by the way ……….. it’s appreciated.:)

I didn’t hit my head when I fell off so I’m not sure what happened during the missing time ….. alien abduction ??? :) , but you’ll certainly not be surprised to learn I still won’t be wearing protective gear , especially a helmet

Ah !!! ……. the blind stupidity clause yet again - I think I’ll have it carved on my tombstone , but then again I won’t be the first or indeed the last to get “offed” in that particular way…………….sheltered life …………..what’s that …. :)……………




Forget - dancing in the streets……let’s have a fight ………..…….

Now - If you are going to indulge in that particular , traditional English pastime - make sure you are not on a public road in the middle of the day , causing a traffic jam with a police car sat in it , a few feet away from the police station itself - pink shirt – optional …………….oh yes I kid you not ………………………………

I came across this particular scene a few weeks ago when I was on my holidays .

The guy in the pink shirt was a taxi driver who had for reasons only known to
himself - stopped on a crossing , and in doing so had caused an extremely long jam back beyond the traffic lights.

The guy behind him in his BMW , had obviously taken offence to this - had got out of his car , and both of them ended up fighting in the middle of the road !!! ….
……… a few cars in front of my Harley .


The police car in the queue had obviously seen this , put its lights on and started cutting up the edge of the cars towards the boxing match.

I just pulled over , shut my bike off and watched as the female officer , who was - rotund - to put it mildly :) , and about 5ft 5 ins tall , and her not very much bigger male colleague , struggle for several minutes , to separate the two 6ft tall 16 stone- pugilists - who only really desisted because they were probably tired of beating the heck out of each other .

Hey - its amazing what us English do when were bored - just to amuse the tourists of course :)

Fog ??? on the Tyne

Our local news program is called Look North and usually features a newsreader with a live but filmed , backdrop of the bridges across the River Tyne .

Now during one broadcast earlier this month , you can clearly see a strange translucent , misty - white streak , run right across the screen behind the presenter, and under the bridge .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYMtyMHlFsA

This certainly does not look like a - spaceship / bird / microlite / camera or light anomaly to me , and is truly an unidentified flying object in the literal sense of the words themselves .

Moving on and typifying our sense of humour up here-

They were interviewing a member of the port authority as to what it could be , and he said -

“ ……...he didn’t know what it was , but was wanting to have a word with the
persons ???..... responsible , as regards it flying ……..under his bridge………. “ :)

Some people …………. and now you can see where I get it all from…… :)



Swerve

Well - didn’t I have a shock this morning .

I was riding to work on my mountain bike , and as I rounded a corner I very nearly ran in to a dog , so I ended up braking so hard that I fell off my flippin’ bike , although I was going slow enough to angle myself towards the grass, thus averting the gravel rash I would have got off the cycle path…………..YOUCH … !!!

Saying that - and for my sins - I’ve now got a gouged leg , cuts and bruises on my arms, and my shoulder , neck , ankle , ribs and back hurt , not that I knew it at the time because I must have momentarily blacked out , and the next thing I knew was a dog licking my face - no doubt in eternal gratitude for not hitting it :) .

When I eventually limped in to work , Evil Don being the first aider , fixed me up , but I did notice he said …………

……………….“ giving me the kiss of life was beyond the call of duty “…… :)


…………….Cheeky git :)

HA HA HA ………or not ……..

What’s the difference between Iraq and Iran ??? –

………………..Iran has got WMD’S :)

Now believe it or not this is a joke from an Iranian comedienne , and it ironically typifies the original English ability to laugh at ourselves , which seems to have sadly all but disappeared ..

With this in mind - I was watching an topical quiz program at the weekend entitled Have I got News for You , albeit the extended uncut version and it featured …………

……………..and wait for this ………………………* GASP *……….

……black and white people taking the p*ss out of each others race and colour ……

……………….ye gods ……….better call the race police :)……………

……………….and get them all arrested ……we can’t have this ………………


So what’s this………… racism by mutual consent :)…………or maybe just normal human beings having a good laugh ……………….remember that …………..:)

LV 426

Woops ………I missed a couple of sci fi movies out of my top ten last week……….
……………..the shame ………. the shame ………… :)

This was - The Matrix and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow , and does that mean I’ll have to eject two from my original list or make it my top 12 :).

Think I’ll go top 12 , as eviction would be an absolute - nightmare :)

Talking of sci fi , I read somewhere that Dotonburi , which is a district of Osaka , was apparently the inspiration for Ridley Scott’s - Bladerunner .

Now having been there three times myself , I reckon it’s a case of people retrospectively fitting that area in to the movie , and anyway certain areas of Tokyo, look the more likely inspiration in my own mind.


So I thought I’d do a little research, and in an interview for film magazine - Wired , Ridley reveals all………………….

http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/magazine/15-10/ffbladerunnerfull?currentPage=all

Now - It turns out that at least half of the inspiration for the setting of the movie was gleaned a mere 15 miles from where I’m sitting writing this !!! ……yes really…. :)

This being the heavily industrial landscapes of Hartlepool and Teesside , where in reality the skies do glow red at night , and of course he got the perpetual rain correct too . The other part of the inspiration being - Hong Kong which I do admit is a little further away :)


I’d forgotten - Ridley Scott is actually from my part of the world, and some of the scenes from Alien were actually filmed on the beaches near here …………

……. Hmmmm…….. think I’d better pack the old - pulse rifle for my next trip down to the seaside……..hey you never know ………….. :)

So from a movie perspective - I either live on an alien planet ( LV426) or in a not so oriental , city of the future …………….. talk about an identity crisis ……………..:)

Widow Twankies Parlour

Now - Widow Twanky is a pantomime dame for those who don’t know.

The character itself is usually a guy dressed up as a woman !!! , and is normally depicted as doing the washing ( laundry ) all the time , and my office looked like her place today , as I got absolutely soaked to the skin riding to work today on my bike., and sunburnt in the ten minutes or so , I took to ride home.

The rest of the world has a perception that us English are obsessed with the weather and after reading the above…….. you wonder why :)

I was talking to an acquaintance of mine who was incidentally an American from California , but who lived over here for a few years , and he loved the weather here because it was so unpredictable as compared to So’ Cal ‘

Me - I love predictable weather, and this is mainly to stop me getting soaked to the skin on my Harley just for once. Sorry - three years of bad summers tend to wear a
little :) , and going to Japan meant at least some hot sunny weather over the past few years , but this year I’m exposed to the dreaded English weather with absolutely no recompense.

Saying that - just to cheer myself up I thought I’d look in to next years Japanese trip, and get a few prices.

Isn’t it a fact that - on line travel companies never seem to have what you want , including or so I thought - Virgin with whom I’d travelled the previous years , so it was on the phone to the dreaded offshore call centres.

Now as a rule in the U.K. , they unfortunately , tend to be staffed by people who in total reality can neither speak nor understand English properly , and this was painfully apparent when they quoted me the sum of £10,000 , and I don’t think my quip of……………

…………….. “I’m not flying to Mars “ ……………

………….was neither - appreciated or more likely understood :)

So one call to Virgin later , and its booked …………
…………………talk about - runaway train syndrome :)

I’m flying first class this time , as my antics in travelling to and from Japan , are well documented elsewhere …….don’t ask……. :) , so the countdown has now commenced ………….. hey you gotta think ahead :)

Synchronicity of Life.

Now - being out on site with work gets you to places you’ve never been to in
years ,and last Tuesday was such an occasion and brought back something from ages ago.

The first few weeks at one particular job had me and a work colleague Gary go to this really obscure spot to participate in a U.K. television series called Challenge Annneka ……… talk about the twilight zone , as we both thought the whole thing was a wind up , as like me Gary had only been working there for a short space of time.

The show in a nutshell was Anneka running around doing good deeds in her one piece jumpsuit and dune buggy, I’m saying nothing about her ass …………
………………..woops ……………………sorry I just did……….. :) .

Our “mission” did turn out to be the truth , with B.B.C cameras every where , but no be- jump suited Anneka or her donkey :) , anywhere to be seen , and not even the merest hint of a dune buggy – either …………rats ………..:)


In this particular episode of the show , our dynamic host - Anneka had talked our local authority in to carrying out some free work , and we were there independently checking it ……. ……it failed ………oh dear…..:)……………….
……and I think the ensuing arguments between us and the suit wearing officials was probably not recorded for posterity - infortunately :).

We didn’t even get our 15 minutes of fame either , as the only shots were of us arriving in our vehicle , the back of Gary’s head , and a few “action shots” from our test rig – never mind :)

Like I say we went through this area for the first time - since then , and of course I’m relating this story to one of our guys.

So later on after I get home I switch the television on and a program comes on , and guess what Anneka Rice is guesting on it , although she had apparently , retired from television a while ago , and what was the first topic of conversation …………yes you guessed it ……………Challenge Anneka……………

Never Ending ..................

I t felt different on the way to work this morning - fresher - I think the word would be.

I suppose riding along on your bike every morning atunes you to these very slight changes , and you can almost smell the beginning of the end of summer in the air through the rich almost alcoholic aromas of hay and berries .

The lower part of the cycle track never ever seems to be particularly warm , and I’m never really sure why , more so in the colder months , and the chill seems to have returned this morning.

I call this particular place – austerity - which seems to fit it well in my mind , and it is in this area as some of you may already know , I’ve smelt roses in the middle of winter and heard phantom horse hooves , amongst other things .

There’s absolutely no feeling of dread , just mysteriousness and sometimes it feels wonderful , and other times as if I’ve just missed something :) , and I’m glad I’m not of a nervous disposition , because it can get extremely dark and lonely along the track in mid winter .

There’s a bench at the top of the hill , just beyond this place and I may just take a while to sit on it , and see what comes in to my head as I watch the sun rise……….who knows we may have another- The Way Ahead - in mind :)

Manage de Trios

Ha …….!!!!............I bet that got your attention , its as nearly as good as the old
………….. “free sex “ ……………….advert :)

A question - what have actor - Steve Mc Queen , John Bonham ( drummer with Led Zeppelin and Brian Clough ( English football manager ) got in common ???

The answer is absolutely nothing , well - apart from the fact they are the three current books ( autobiographies ) I’m reading , and you can actually add Che Guevara – The Motorcycle Diaries to that list too , so that destroys my smart ass title –
straightaway :)

Steve , John and possibly Che - I can personally associate with as they were just tearaway bikers , which I do agree is over simplifying it :) , but Brian Clough is yet another “kettle of fish “ as they say.


I’ve never really been in to sport , but I though this book would be interesting more about the man than his occupation , and I was right , and yes Steve and John’s books certainly gave me an insight beyond the tearaway ethos – too, although with Che being a revolutionary , could this taking the tearaway way of thinking , to the Nth
degree :)

I tend not to read ordinary fiction very much , the exception being science fiction and then I’m very , very selective in my choices, and talking of which I noticed a sci fi magazine recently listed its top ten films.

This of course it got me thinking what mine would be , and I came up with this in no particular order -

Forbidden Planet
Dune
Chronicles of Riddick
T2
The Time Machine ( original)
Sphere
Aliens
1984
Cloverfield.
Bladerunner

Now you will have noticed I have not listed any Star Wars films in my list , and I can hear the sounds of people screaming ………….SACRILAGE…. !!!!!!!!!!..................
from here :), but in my opinion like E.T. , they are kids films , and do not deserve inclusion………………………:)


You can say all you want about ………”galaxies far far away”……….
……….but in my opinion it’s still not far enough – away……… so there ………..:)

We've got your number..........................

Uh - Oh ………..I’ve upset the JWW Faction ( John William Waterhouse – Pre Raphaelite artist ) with my comments about his paintings last week , by calling them “indistinct “ ………..whoops :)

Hmmmm …………I thought I’d got away with that , by singing the praises of
The Lady of Shalott and La Belle Dame Sans Merci , but obviously not :)……
………..The ‘ Faction are after my blood , rather like the NHS ….. last Friday :)

Art - as you all know is so subjective and divisive, and I should have really known better than having said this in the first place , considering my own track record which involves an unswerving tendency towards …………….and dare I say it ……….. ………………*GASP*…………….modern art ……!!! :)

To be honest - I actually made the self same comments in person at the Royal Academy whilst viewing the art itself , and wasn’t set about by the mass hoards of umbrella wielding JWW fans , as its just simply my opinion as compared to other
Pre Raphaelite pieces – that’s all, and yes , I do admit I’m not an expert on this subject , but I do have enough knowledge to offer at least , some thoughts and comparisons.

Saying that - I surprisingly liked a few more offerings by JWW after visiting the exhibition like – “the gal dead in the snow” ( St Eulalia) , or the “the witchy woman” ( Magic Circle ) , and of course Ophelia , but I’m afraid , his own version of …..
“ I am half sick of shadows …” pales in to comparison , when compared to Meteyard’s original……………. sorry - JWW ……:)

There are certainly no – “head in the pot “ ( Isabella ) , “ouch my back !!! “
( Marianna ) , “ English exclamations of Summer ( Flaming June ) , scowly women holding fruit…….GRRRRRR …. ( Proserpina ) , Rosetti’s ravishing redheads
( take your pick) or “gals traipsing up steps” ( Golden Stairs ) ,. “gal in orange” ( Sibylla Delphica) , “ look in to my eyes “ ( The Beguiling of Merlin ) - to name but a few :)

Again - I suppose I’m extremely lucky enough to view this all very close up , and not out of a book /on the net , and this ability has slightly changed my opinion of JWW, although I suspect not enough to avert the seeking of my O positive by his hordes :)

Things we do for Metal ………….part 27 b……..

During my holidays I was talked in to going to see 80’s thrash merchants - Testament again by Evil Don , and he said he’d even go up in his car.

Now I don’t know what scared me more Chuck Billy from Testament or Don’s car - the significance of which will become apparent :)

So with this in mind , I said to Don - go in mine as yours doesn’t sound like its running properly , but I was fighting a losing battle as it turned out , and off we went in the ………….“wheels of steel * “………………………….

Now I don’t pretend to be any kind of expert on car mechanics , and my dismantle the kitchen table to rebuild my Triumph motorcycle days , are long gone , but it just didn’t sound right , which was a fact unfortunately borne out when his exhaust dropped off about ten miles up the road , whilst picking some more of his friends
up !!! .

So to plan B - get the bus , arriving at the venue half way through the support band , which is fair enough

The problem being by the time Testament had finished , the ordinary buses had stopped running !! , but fortunately a night bus service had just started running but this necessitated a long walk to Don’s friends house at the other end .

So several hours later , and a call to the A.A. man to fix Don’s exhaust , I got in to the house at three am , just in time for a “refreshing” two and a half hours sleep before I was due to get up for work ……… marvellous………….:)

Talk about dedication :)

Slash and Burn

I got a letter through the post yesterday from the blood transfusion people
( who collect blood donations for you non U.K. folks ), pointing out that there was a shortage of blood and would I consider donating again .

Now some of you may know - many years ago I seriously damaged my wrist , and to be honest about it , the blood loss nearly f**king killed me , hence since then and up until a few years ago I’ve always been a blood donor, despite the fact I absolutely and utterly , detest needles .

That was until the unfortunate fact that our health service is slowly but surely being turned in to a money making business which is ran by penny pinching accountants, and this rightly or wrongly , stopped me donating.

A decision I did not take lightly - believe me , as some unknown persons unselfishness in the past certainly saved my life for what its worth , but unfortunately - it sticks in my throat that the fact the public are expected to freely donate blood in to a system which is not ran for their own well being , but for profit .

I certainly don’t want paying for my blood , merely to give it and use it in the way it was intended i.e. in a caring system .

This is still a real dilemma for me as you can probably see , so don’t be surprised if you see me on a table near you getting drained of my morality - hopefully :)

There is a funny end to this - as I was going home on my bike I was nearly ran off the road by a van bearing the legend NHS – Give Blood !!!, I caught up with the van and jokingly said to the driver……………

……………… “do you want my blood now or can you wait “,,,,,,,,,,,,,:)

See/hear/speak no evil

I noticed with interest the gay pride flag flying over our offices a while ago , and whilst I do support this type of awareness raising exercise in principle and if carried out for the right reasons , it’s almost guaranteed to have a side effect on some of the more ………hmmmmm…… …..

……….how can I put this ……..errrrrr…. ………………..

…………..more …….. narrow minded sections of the community……………………

………………or am I being unfair here :)….

Now I was going out on site on that particular day with a pair of characters we very aptly call - “The Chuckle Brothers” , who - to pull no punches , are the most racist , sexist and of course - homophobic people I have ever had the misfortune to trip over , but - rather like relatives - you cannot choose the people you work with !!!

These two individuals , nearly collectively , crashed the vehicle we were all in when they saw the flag , and were so wrapped up in shouting abuse , they failed to notice the car they had just cut up , and the guy swiftly…. getting out of it …………

I knew exactly who it was due to my union dealings , as one of our Directors stood in front of our vehicle’s open window , just catching the end of the abuse as he
did so ……………

The ironic part of this story is “ The Chuckle’s” are both union members , and one of my fellow rep’s , will no doubt have to represent them in the upcoming disciplinary , because I’m going to be called as a witness…….. who ……… as they are about to find out ………………..saw and heard absolutely ………….nothing !!!

Now what’s going on here , I hear you thinking , maybe - misplaced loyalty to people I work with ……………………………….

……………………no f**king chance ………….

Well it’s like this –

Whilst I’m certainly not excusing it - ignorance isn’t against the law , and compared to some of the things I’ve seen , this is a relatively minor incident , simply because no real harm was done to anybody in the real world – yes really .

In my experience - attaching electrodes to the “Chuckles “ genitals ( see page 22 of the C.I.A Persuasion Manual :) ) will simply not change their years of ingrained attitudes , never mind a “mere” disciplinary hearing .

The Director will be telling the truth about the inconsiderate driving and the homophobic slurs at the hearing , but since neither are illegal , I’m highly dubious as to the real reasons why he needs a mere minion , like myself to back him up .

I suppose you could say my personal attitude to this was a little strange on the
surface , but rightly or wrongly , I will simply not be used to prove what is a disputable point in my opinion , a clear cut case of discrimination or any other serious matter – yes - but this , an unequivocal – no .

My thoughts are - It’s certainly not my place to root these people out. , I leave that to the authorities that be - who point the finger , act as judge , jury and executioner , and
then - can quiet conveniently..……….just walk away ………………..leaving everyone else to deal with the consequences……………………..

It’s dammed if you do ……….dammed if you don’t ……… in my case and guess what for once in my life ……….. I’m not playing ……………for either side ………

……..and you can reserve my place in the “darkest places of hell “…………….
………………..supposedly …:)

Socialism to Sonisphere

Well a whole three weeks off work doesn’t make you want to go back , and re checking my lottery numbers , several hundred times over last weekend did certainly not change this fact ...................unfortunately………………:)

The title really sums up these few weeks , what with the Big Meeting on the first Saturday , which I described as a “Socialists paradise “ being my first port of call , and of course Sonisphere which was the last of my holidays , at the weekend .

The bits in between - well I decided in part to revisit the places where I used to go on holiday as a child , which is an odd thing to do for someone who does not revel in nostalgia I hear you thinking , ok you can call it a removal of the “rose tinted spectacles “if you wish , and yes I admit an enjoyable one it was too, and no I won’t bore you with the details , as English working class destinations have no real interest to anyone – well except the English working class :) .

I did however go and see the Futurists exhibition in London , and I was hoping the
art - Before the Parachute Opens would be there – but alas not , but on the plus side I did find out who it was by , in a book entitled Futurist Aeronautical Art , so all was not lost :) .

I also visited an exhibition by John William Waterhouse ( JWW ) a Pre Raphaelite artist at the Royal Academy on my travels .

Now - you couldn’t have so much of a contrast between the two styles of these two exhibitions, in fact if you put these particular schools of artists together in a room , they would have probably killed each other :)

Seriously - JWW is considered by some not to be a true Pre Raphaelite as he came slightly later, and his paintings tend to be a little …..errrrrr…..indistinct to me , but definitely saved by “ the gal in the boat” aka The Lady of Shallot , and of course the wonderful - La Belle Dames Sans Merci both of which were on display .

La Belle……. certainly holds a lot of personal significance to me , and I’ll just say five words about this ………………the shower of heavenly syllable……………


I’m back out at work for the foreseeable future , so please excuse me if my stuff on here becomes a little erratic , well …ok… ok… more so than usual :)

Missing the Point.......again ......:)

This - I suppose is a follow on from my - Shiny Plastic People - article of last year , as the mainstream festival season is upon us here yet again in the U.K……

Now - being a “bit” of a music orientated person , as you all know :) , I tend to go to as many gigs as I can , and this of course has included the “odd festival” , over the years, and saying that - Download ( Donnington) didn’t appeal this year, but I did go to Sonisphere for Metallica / Linkin Park at the weekend .

Sometimes I think I’m a little strange in my own personal views on this subject , and please tell me if I’m missing the point here , as I tend to go to the festivals for the music itself - which is not unreasonable in my opinion ……. is it ………….???

Unfortunately - this seems to be at odds with a current way of thinking by folks of all ages , as in my experience they actually buy tickets for festivals without even seeing the line up of bands playing ………which I personally find………………………
………………………..unbelievable ……….!!!..................................

I know festivals like Glastonbury were never just about the music as they encompassed - art , theatre and comedy amongst other things , but these people don’t even go for that.

So is this just the English thing of getting pissed up and causing a nuisance of yourself ……. moving in to the alternative culture …….or is it just me ……… .yet again :)





Talking of music - I’ve just found a brilliant live version of A Place Called Home by P.J.Harvey on YouTube from Big Day In 03 , and it just consists of her belting the song out on a semi acoustic …………. f**king marvellous ……:)

…………and of course being on YouTube I simply had to watch Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack ………..but that’s just me , I then diversified to NWA – Straight Outta Compton - problem was it was the rubbish - non sweary version and it certainly hasn’t got the same effect as the original – never mind.

The of course it was …..B Shops for The Poor …………..saying nothing here :)



Love Resurrection by Alison Moyet came next !!!........welcome to the 80’s :) ……..silly video - good song………..errrr …………..it gets even madder
from this point , how about , Tori Amos – Cornflake Girl or Kate Bush – Rubberband Girl……………think I’d better stop ………ARRRRGGGH THE 80’S ………….:)

Saying that I ‘d better mention that I watched Seven Gates of Hell by Venom and laughed all the way through it , I mentioned this to Evil Don and he definitely wasn’t amused :)

Various

A couple of stories from when we were out on site before my holidays - I think.

This is mainly to give me some time to gather my thoughts regarding the three weeks of mayhem – which I think I need a holiday to recover from :)


Stripped for Action :)

When we are out and about we occasionally have our lunch in one of the numerous picnic sites scattered about the county , this is mainly because they sometimes have stalls selling tea , and of course - toilet facilities , and these stops can have amusing consequences ………………………….

We stopped at one the other day , and saw there was no tea stall , so we left one of our guy’s - D.T. to guard the vehicles/ equipment , while we went to try a and find one .

Now it was a hot day and D.T. was as usual stripped to the waist wearing his jeans tucked in to his rigger boots , and we thought nothing of it as we went off in search of a drink .

We came back about 10 minutes later and saw D.T. holding court with a group of
guys , now D.T being D.T he was totally oblivious of the fact that these guys were obviously gay , and his attire probably singled him out as one of the gang in their minds :)

We stopped and all these guys seemed to scatter leaving a bewildered D.T. alone
and I’m sure he still didn’t really know what was going on , and we weren’t about to tell him :)




YOU WEREN’T THERE MAN !!!

One of my workmate Chris had a bit of a motorcycle accident a few years ago and has got a bit of a limp because of it.

So this particular day we were out and about , and had called in to the local shop to buy some food , and as usual Chris wandered in last in .He was just about to get served when the lady behind the counter mentioned his leg , and just before he could get a word out a certain person who was just going out of the door shouted

………………….. “he took a mortar round in ‘Nam …………”

One hour later Chris eventually got out of the shop :)


There are several other stories , but these all relate to toilet functions and our obvious lack of facilities on the road , thus I’m not sure they are entirely appropriate on here , so I’ll leave those to your “fertile imagination” :)