Concrete Jungle

Keith - our resident works maniac , announced yesterday he’d bought himself a cheap angle grinder a few weeks ago , which is basically - a high powered tool , with a spinning - cutting disc , that is usually used to cut and grind metal.

It was in the ….“I’ve got an angle grinder “…… sentence, that he then mentioned he was going to cut concrete with it ……………………………

Sorry for dipping in to the big box of boys big toys here - but concrete is usually cut with a very expensive - water cooled - Stihl saw , and not a low powered hardware store item , and to use an analogy , this is like using an old record deck to play a C.D. - i.e. totally the wrong tool for the job , but infinitely more “dangerous” than ruining your limited edition collectors item C.D. with a diamond stylus :)

I get the impression that Keith buys stuff , and finds a use for them later , hence the angle grinder purchase , and thus its use in a totally unsuitable way at a later date .

.Keith’s very colourful antics have been chronicled on here fairly well in the past ,
like - locking himself in the car and putting a steel rod through a gas pipe - to name but a few , so I dread to think what next week will bring.- probably a visit to casualty :)

Business as Usual

I see the U.K. Government has been very “ busy” - running around trying to sort out the current financial crisis - with a whole “raft of measures” ( sic ) , including - restricting mortgages , changing the way credit cards are administered , preparing to raise taxes to cover shortfalls , and of course ……

Legislating against the financial industry that got us in to the hole in the first place .


No hang on .. the last one isn’t true… is it ...:)


With this in mind - what people fail to realize on this particular issue , is the financial reforms that were so trumpeted by the government - recently , are actually a set of existing, but surprisingly - non binding rules, that were put in place when the public originally bailed the banks out , but to be honest , seem to be as worthless as the paper they are written on - or not - as the case may be, and were dealing with politicians and bankers here – remember :)

Meanwhile - and back in the real world – if you take a close look at the official measures that are being introduced , it not only seems to blame the U.K. public for the crisis , but adds further insult to injury , by making us all pay for it all - years afterwards - in the guise of raised taxes and restrictive financial processes.

Whilst - back in clown cuckoo land - the banks sail merrily on , and are
“surprisingly “ back in to the big bonus culture……


This of course is oh so ironic as next week its ……bonfire night :)……

…..and we all know my thoughts on that particular one……

…but could I make a few minor changes , this time ..

…… like Parliament inviting their big business buddies to the meeting :)

Hmmmm - Two birds with one barrel of gunpowder - bargain :)

Past the Sell by Date :)

I know my use of the English style of date i.e. day / month /year , confuses some people on here , and of course this has got me thinking why we use this particular system , and the some countries seems to use - month /day / year - system .

I think we have the historical high ground on our format :) , as well as the numeric logic too, as it goes from the smallest unit ( days ) to the larger unit ( years ) with months in between , but there seems to be no logic in the other system with the middle unit ( months ) - first , days in the middle , and finally years at the end .

Just to add to the confusion - I’ve just found that the international ( ISO )date form is
year / month /day - which again is logical , if in a topsy turvey way :)

I’ve searched the net for explanations, but can’t seem to find any definite answer as to why this is all different , and unless I am told otherwise will put it down to -
“driving on the different side of the road - syndrome” :)




Coincidence Twins
---------------------------------

I was having a bit of a chat with Keith at work today at dinner time , and he noticed one of our co workers - Chimpy had a personalised number plate , rather like the one Whatto - another of our colleagues has , but strangely both of them deny buying the plates , and insist that it was a sheer coincidence that they got the plate supplied with their very own initials :)

The number of vehicles on the road in the U.K. is according to my information
Is a staggering 28 million , which seems high to me – but never mind , and each of these vehicles have a unique registration , so the odds of getting one with your precise initials are absolutely astronomical - once , but to happen twice in your workplace well that’s too much :)

Hence this pair have now been christened - The Coincidence Twins - in recognition of them “ beating the odds” , but I reckon their “odds beating” probably would have been better served ……… on a lottery win ……perhaps……or maybe Las Vagas…. …………and then they could go buy a proper personalised plate – like


…………….CH1M9Y …. or maybe even…. WH4TT0 :)


………….as the old saying goes …..” you can’t buy taste “ :)

Hero’s and Villains

I thought I’d leave commenting on this until the furore died down a little.

Yes that’s right - Nick Griffin leader of far right political group The B.N.P , appearing on the B.B.C’s political program - Question Time- last week . .

Ok - on the face of it – the current hero’s are –

The B.B.C. for upholding the right to free speech for all , and of course the 100’s of predominantly - white kids ( as far as I could see ) upholding their right to protest at The B.B.C - if a little too violently for me .

……and the villains are ……….boo ………..his..ssss……..boo…..….

“ Winston Churchill for being a fascist … “gays for being creepy “ , and of course - The Poles who fly Spitfires and pretend to be English :)


I reckon the whole reason , people vote B.N.P and for other far right groups , and yes they apparently did in their droves , is because of a whole scale disillusionment in mainstream politics , and can I say without being branded as a screaming Fascist –
I actually agreed with Nigel’s comments on political correctness .

This is rather like - I suspect a lot of other people - did., but then again the laws of probability says amid the right wing rhetoric there will be at least one tiny grain of sense.

Some people say - all publicity is good publicity - and the attempts of a Member of Parliament to try and stop Nigel Griffin speaking was totally and utterly wrong , but then again Mr Griffin made his very own exception to that rule , in that the majority of his comments on the show were to be frank - right wing extremism - at its worst ,
and hence my “ leopards and spots “ title of last week .


Saying that - and being an advocate of fairness which our B.N.P “friends” certainly are not - but I’ll rise against that - I did detect a marked change from the usual Question Time format of purely discussing political issues - in to an all out assault , bordering on the personal , by everyone , including the shows presenter on Nigel Griffin .

I would also like to point out that - considering the above - Mr Griffin is an adult , and being the head of a party with such radical views , knows he will encounter hostility from the average person in the street or indeed - television studio :)

Looking at this as a whole - the cynical amongst us , could even say the whole episode , right from the start was an orchestration – a luring of a lamb to the slaughter – In effect , hence my “on the face of it “ comment , as regards hero’s and villains at the start of this piece .


Whether - the end justifies the means - I’ll leave to you …………………………..

Time Out

I – like the rest of you in the U.K., have no doubt , woken up this morning with the rosy - almost patriotic glow of helping our fellow countrymen and women out .

What with the absolute hordes of schoolchildren trekking to school , the thousands of Scottish farmers toiling in their fields from dawn to dusk , and of course the brave lads about to go over the top - for - King and Country……

No……….No …………No ………..

………………hang on its not 1916 ………is it ……

………..its 2009 ……….how silly of me……..must be the “wave of patriotism” :)

Yes - that’s right - its that strange and ancient English custom ……….

………….Ye olde Saving of ye Daylighte ………hence the devil cometh and taketh thee…..

……………..or daylight saving to the rest of the world :)


2009 ………..huh ………… ……that’s the modern world isn’t it :).

Now - I reckon the good folk from 1916 probably thought we’d all be flying around in our very own personal spaceships - death rays in hand , with our robots attending to our every whim in 2009.

No chance , and instead we get the “joy “ of going to work and returning home in the pitch dark for six months , being hungry a full hour before meal times , and feeling generally odd all day - until you acclimatize to the time change, but by that time you’ll probably have to re acclimatise as the clocks will go forward again !!!

Well the upsides if there are indeed - any -

I suppose you could go burn yourself a few ye olde witches :)

………or maybe even get conned in to walking very slowly towards an enemy machine gun post ………………..


Even better - I could get my personal spaceship out to deliver all the children safely to school , get my robots to do the farmers work for him , and death ray the idiots who insist on daylight saving ………………………….

…………………just for a laugh ……of course :)

*!&%*!% ….!!!

I’ve got only four things to say today , and they are -

….Slayer , Living Colour , Marilyn Manson , Alice in Chains………….

…………. oh yes and one other thing …………i nearly forgot …….


………BASTARDS… !!! …..:…. …. :)


The connection between the two is - bands on tour , who are not playing anywhere near me.

I was saying a few weeks ago about the lack of places for bands to play in my area in the past and now we have plenty of venues there’s no one playing ….

…………..well except for …..Motorhead , The Damned and Girlschool …..

…………or maybe not :)





Ring Ring
--------------------------

Evil Don rang the office today and asked to speak to one of our technicians -
John , who wasn’t in , so the guy who answered the phone said he would get him to ring Don - straight back.

So - John walks in to the office shortly after , and rings Don .

Now - just at the moment Don’s phone started to ring at the other end , he must have picked it up, and started dialling , so John sensing all his Christmas’s and birthdays were about to come at once - just kept quiet :)

Don - thinking his call had went through to the garage , he was now ringing, starts talking unwittingly about getting his car serviced to John , who goes along with the scenario for a while, and then just says out of the blue……………………

……..“how’s you ass”………………….

there was a stunned silence at the end of the phone , as Don had been completely and utterly taken in by it all :)

Don eventually sussed who it was after a few more choice phrases were thrown in to the conversation by John – too rude to repeat here , but John then went even further -
If that possible - by saying he had been sacked by our employer and was now working at the garage !!!

I dread too think what Monday may bring , a miracle re – instatement of John’s employment – maybe

Instant Party

Yes that’s right yet another Who reference , and yes I’m reading yet another biography , and this time its Keith Moon their drummer .

I’ve read his hefty 600 page , official one a few years ago entitled - Dear Boy , but this one entitled - Instant Party , is more like a history of the various people and the bands of the time , and how Keith fitted in with this over the years , and has the odd bit of English social history thrown in to clarify some of the references , which would be totally obscure – otherwise .

So it’s not really a straight biography - listing the televisions being thrown out of hotel rooms , Rolls Royce’s in swimming pools ( which is a myth) …etc …etc…etc… - which has been done by many books over the years , as it seemed to go beyond the normal - Moon the Loon - persona , and scratch the surface a little bit more, which from my own perspective made interesting reading .


I’ve actually got three books on my current reading list at the moment , and the next being yet another biography and this time it’s John Peel who is an English D.J. who is most famous for the chant , heard at various festivals around the U.K. of…………

… John Peel’s a c**t …!!!!!!......

…..don’t you just lurve the British public :)

I’m not in to this one yet , but it does promise to be good .


Last - but not least is an old (ish) book from 2000 by hedonist and food fiend – Anthony Bourdain , entitled – Kitchen Confidential .

Anthony was actually brought to my attention last year in Tokyo , when I caught one of his T.V. programs about Scandinavia - I forget exactly where , but I made a mental note to look out for his series when I got back to the U.K. and of course subsequently – forgot :)
.
My own recollection from that particular program was Anthony - ran around , got drunk while trying all the local cuisine , which in this instance - consisted of standing at a street corner food stall in a snow drift , eating some strange Scandinavian food at 2am :)

Errrrr …………..I gotta say this book itself , and unlike his T.V. program is awful , and this is mainly because it is written in a pseudo – hip style , which will probably suit a television script , but not a book, thus falls flat on its own trendy face – unfortunately.

I think Anthony probably models himself on a more streetwise version of English


Chef - Keith Floyd , but unlike Keith – Anthony’s style does not translate from television to book , but saying this I’m definitely going to keep looking for Antony’s T.V. shows and if by magic there’s one on tonight in ………..and wait for this……..

..Tokyo………!!!........... :)

Say What !!!!

I’m currently being schooled in the ancient and precise art of – saying the first thing that comes in to your head - by of all people - a first degree master of the craft – self certified of course :).

This is unlike the cat from my part of the world that is a certified hypnotist with not one , but three qualifications to prove it – I kid you not :)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8303126.stm


Think I’d better explain.-

A local journalist , recently proved that it was possible for anyone , including his own cat called George , to become a qualified hypnotherapist , and the television article was interspersed with another “qualified”…………pervert……

………..sorry……sorry……..……..errrr………….hypnotherapist ……

Who said his own form of treatment can increase women’s breast size !!!

………….saying nothing here ……well ok …..errrr…..maybe ………

………………..look in to my eyes…………………. :)



Who’s the stupidest of us all…. again ……


I was talking about extremism in the U.K. yesterday on here and guess what should rear up its ugly head , but The B.N.P.

The B.N.P - who are a hard right – political party , have being using Second World War imagery - specifically - that most English of English machine - a Spitfire fighter plane on an anti immigration poster , and several of our retired generals have been complaining about this .

Thus - The B.N.P have countered by saying - the generals recent actions in Iraq , should be put on trial - Nuremburg style !!!

Ok - lets get things clear - The Second World War was a fight against Fascism , which for all intents and purposes the B.N.P represent , so they are being extremely stupid or extremely clever using this imagery - I suspect the latter - unlike our military friends who should have pointed out the ignorance of using those images , and of course the Nuremburg retort , and just left it at that.

The best part of it though, is the Spitfire , has now been identified by experts through its R.A.F numbers as being part of a …………

………………….and wait for this ………………

……………………….Polish Squadron….:)

So not an Englishman in sight , on an anti immigration poster ……………………..

………..ignorance is indeed – bliss :)


Just to finish - a final word on the debate as to whether to let Nick Griffin- leader of The B.N.P. on the B.B.C.political debate program – Question Time.

Yes do it - but make sure his shoes aren’t bulletproof *…………

(* Refers to “ shooting yourself in the foot “ which means “to make a mistake”, for my non U.K. friends out there )

……….of leopards and spots ……….

I’m never sure whether it’s a good thing to comment on certain contentious topics, simply because I do not want to be misconstrued as something I’m certainly not , but here goes –

Ok this little piece was brought about by the fact –

Last year a Dutch Christian ? politician was barred from entering the U.K. because of his far right views , and it now seems this ban has been lifted by a court ruling , and he is now going to be allowed to speak in The House of Lords .

Consequently you have members of the Muslim community protesting , and saying that we should repeal the freedom of speech in this country , and impose backward medieval laws , simply because this politician was let in .

Now being fair about this - both groups have the right to free speech , the irony of which is lost on the Muslim protestors – no doubt , but the right to preach hate and extreme views is certainly - illegal , and I personally I find it more than a little odd that an individual can go from being banned , to being allowed to speak at one of the highest levels in this country !!!

I reckon political correctness has a lot to do with allowing these two forms of behaviour to thrive , and to go a step further I actually think - it actively , encourages the ideologies they both preach - but that’s just my thoughts on the matter .

I like to think were a pretty moderate bunch here in the U.K. , and yes we support the ultimate right to the freedom of speech , as people fought and died for that right in the past , but we must remember they also did it to combat extremism too.

Therefore - can I say to both of these sets of people , if you really - really , want to preach this kind of extreme ethos - could you please - go and do it elsewhere , because I for one do not want to hear it …………. goodbye and goodnight………..

....I REALLY THINK SO* ...............

( * with all apologies to The Vapors - Turning Japanese )

I’ve decided to go all international on my self and start publishing my own blog spot in Japanese , probably starting next week .

This “revelation” will probably not be a surprise any of you out there who know me , but don’t despair all back / current issues of my stuff are still on my - myspace and in English , although I’m thinking about doing a few different European versions too ………….. but don’t hold your breath :)

Details upon request - but be aware - you may have to be vetted :)

Joking aside - and don’t get me wrong , I can neither - write nor read in Japanese , and the only reason I’m doing this is because there are several free translation sites on the net , but who knows I may learn a little as I go along , what with that and a learn to speak Japanese program for my Nintendo – the skies the limit :)

This - of course , all falls apart when a native speaker replies to your carefully honed phrases at 100mph , and you can’t understand a word they are saying , never mind think of formulating a reply :)

Maybe it’s a sweeping statement , but unfortunately in my own experience , the majority people from the U.K. expect everyone to speak English - me included , although I can get away with some - French , but my German consists of …
……nein sprachensie Deutch …( no speak German .. !!! ) – sorry , and as for anything else – well you can totally and utterly - forget that ……….:)


Everyone knows that you learn languages better when you are very young ……
…..so no hope for me…..then :) , well - other than using the translation devices , which to be honest , could be translating your stuff in to absolutely anything ,
like ………

…………. “ my hat is on fire” …… or ……” the pen of my Aunt “ :)

Ah ……….“ la plume de la metant “…………aka ……….the pen of my aunt….

Now there’s an equally useless phrase I remember from my French lessons at school and I’d love to be able to wangle that particular phrase in to a conversation , but am totally at a loss how to , although you could say - I borrowed the pen of my aunt – which is bad English…….errrr …………..sorry French…………………….

…………………..think I’d better shut up here :)

M.C. Chimpy V’s Da’ Krew

Lunch or dinner time as we call it in the U.K. , in our office is usually dead boring, so my interest was piqued when one of my colleagues who we will call - Chimpy , suddenly announced out of the blue , that we should have a D.J. shootout , using …

……………………………..and wait for this …………

………………………………YouTube………….. :)

Now there’s a unique concept if I’ve ever heard one , an online shootout using videos, and theoretically my own D.J. skills shouldn’t give me an advantage here – theoretically :)

What my simian friend didn’t know - was - I usually get bored on YouTube and because of our extremely quick broadband internet system at work, I can stack up at least five tracks - ready to go - all in typical D.J. fashion .

This - and the fact I love splicing the music from video tracks together , rather like Rage Against the Machine , Public Enemy and The MC5 , which YouTube make very easy - even for a moron like me :)

Kate Bush , Torri Amos and of course P.J. Harvey make an “interesting “ mix - too :)


Ok that aside - and back to the shootout - I think I’ll let you guess what
happened ……………

Although - saying that - what I will say is - we also call Chimpy – “sense of humour by pass” , so the fact that I incorporated …………..

………………..River dancing chimps in to my finale……………

…………….. didn’t really help the situation at all ………………….. :)


The battle is won but the war goes on ……….:):

Nu photo is called - A Curve of Sepia.

Nu photo is called - A Curve of Sepia.

Outlandish Mainstream.

It never ceases to amaze me how much stuff from what was originally considered extreme and weird , eventually makes it in to the mainstream , and even in to that bastion of tradition …..The B.B.C. :)

It may take a few years , or centuries if you’re the B.B.C. :) , but it all eventually re surfaces as the norm’., maybe it’s the youth from that time acquiring jobs in television jobs and placing part of that time in to the present or maybe our voracious appetite for nostalgia – who can say.


I was watching a celebrity - around the world in 80 days for charity - program , earlier this week , and there was a segment of the celeb’s traveling on a bus , and of course the accompanying music was The Who’s – Magic Bus.

Which I am now “doomed” to sing for the next few days, and with this in mind - Alvin - one of my cats certainly wasn’t impressed when I started singing it to him , ….changing the lyrics to …

.“now I’ve got my magic Alvin… “

Unfortunately - the cat like - turning away , nose in the air - said it all , .but salvation came when Boris, my other cat , came in , obviously hearing the racket and appreciating ??? it , so the lyrics were then changed to….

“…..now I’ve got my magic Boris……goodbye magic Alvin ”….

…..to a rapidly disappearing Alvin , who escaped as my next “victim” ….enjoyed ??? …the serenading :)

On reflection - I don’t suppose you could have really had any other track here , and I’m now trying to think of another composition which revolves around buses – magic or otherwise :) , and I’ll discount The Portrait of Dorian Grey aka Cliff Richard singing - Summer Holiday here - immediately as its not about a bus :)

I’m actually sat here listening to a mixture of The Who and black rappers NWA –
a compilation C.D. if your really interested – writing this , and being called an unsociable twat by one of my oh so “eloquent” work colleagues for doing so, and I’m just wondering if NWA would ever make the mainstream ……
…..hmmmm ….I think not …

………as even the “ N ” word in the bands title , would have the politically correct having chickens :)

A to B

I notice the B.B.C have yet another - get to a destination by any means of transport - program , and this time its Sydney to Tokyo.

I’m sure with actor / biker - Charlie Boorman at the helm - no doubt the odd motorcycle will be involved somewhere along the line , and of course the T word in the final destination has no sway over me – what so ever – oh ..no.. no.. no .. :) .

I love this type of program , and watch a similar one called Art Race , which is set in the U.S.A , and this is whereby a couple of artists cross the country , financed by selling their own artwork , as they do so.

It’s the human nature side to this , which ultimately fascinates me , be it – trekking through your own country relying on yourself and other peoples generosity , or traveling through a totally alien culture by any means , even if its by a Spitfire fighter plane !!! .

I’d personally have big trouble in this particular mode of transport as I’d want to go looking for targets to shoot up …………woops …….:)




Pinhole Mania-------------------

I saw a few photograph’s the other week , which had been shot with that most basic and simplest form of photography - a pinhole camera , and quiet liked the other worldliness of the images , so I decided to have a go at making one .

Now after checking this out , my enthusiasm was unfortunately cut short by the collection of required items like - drinks cans , cardboard , cereal boxes and endless tubes of glue ……………..

It seemed too much like a junior school - science project to me ……… so being an adult ???...:) ………. I then came up with a cheap and easy - low tech solution for making a pinhole lens for my SLR camera.

This consists of buying a cheap , plastic end cap for your camera lens , if you haven’t got a spare already , and simply putting a pin hole in it – easy as that - hi and lo tech together in perfect harmony :)

The downside being - you will then need some way of keeping the shutter open on your SLR while the image forms, and either a mechanical or a simple remote control will usually do,or you could get a junior school child to sit with their finger on the button for a few days …….as part of a science project ……. of course :)

Skool’s In :)

Well it seems our “elders and betters” are all back from the longest set of holidays in the country - yes that’s right - skool’s
( sic ) back in session , or that “fine body” of duly elected people who make up Parliament , as we like to call it here :).

How do I know this ??? .

Well - I can just feel the inexplicable, financial drain on the country as M.P.’s threaten legal action if they are forced to pay back the money they swindled from the taxpayer in the recent expenses scam in the U.K.

So its business as usual then !!!

Gone are the apologies and fawning “sorry faces” , threats of suicide , and the implication of “ everyone watching everyone” , and back is the arrogance of power , so personified by the now - disgraced Speaker of The House of Commons - at the very start of the scandal .

I think the arrogant act of M.P’s threatening to take legal action , stems directly from an untouchability which still exists , due to the fact no form of legal rules or regulations as regards public servants and finances, and I’ve said this before - its no good - this shrugging of the shoulders and “streetwise” declaration that “ all politicians are dishonest “ – they are only dishonest because they are allowed to be , and the M.P’s attitude of -

….“we’ll all go away on holiday for three months , and the public will forget “………

sums them all up - a total and utter contempt for the electorate …!!! …






Speculation Corner :)
---------------------------------------------

Due to the ongoing worldwide financial anomalies business , it seems amongst many others – The U.S .Treasury Department have been very busy over the past few
months , what with A.I.G and more recently Bear Stearns - situations.

I was - however very surprised to see them commenting on the state of terrorist finances yesterday , by instating that - El Quaed’a finances are down , but The Taliban finances are up !!! .

Errrrrrrr……..now is it just me , or does that imply the treasury department actually regulates - terrorist organizations books :)

……..“ hey.. !!! …. you’ve spent too much on AK47’s this month”……

……..“ what about considering buying cheaper Eastern European Semtex” …………

….” errrrr ……….can we…….shoot less bullets - here - please “………

……”can we call a meeting with Mr Bin Laden to discuss budget cuts “………:)

……..this bird has flown* ……….

(* with apologies to the Beatles and their song Norwegian Wood )

Nobels Fredspris - seems to be a couple of words on every body’s tongue recently , but certainly not as much as the name of its brand new recipient :)

Now - I get the feeling that this award was sprung - very , very unexpectedly on
Da Prez’ , as according to my information - it seems all the normal rules and
protocols that are normally observed in order to receive this award in the past , have been totally discarded on this particular occasion, as was any kind of forewarning before the oh so - public , press release.

To be honest , as I was saying last week, for all his good intentions , words and aspirations , nothing concrete has yet come out of the Obama presidency , in fact I reckon Obama himself , must be sat there thinking …………

……………….“ what on earth are they giving me this for “ ……

I too - cannot imagine what The Norwegian Committee had in their minds when deciding upon this award , as recent press reports say that Obama may send even more troops to Afghanistan , which is not really an act of peace in anybody’s book , and thus I must come to the conclusion - they are either very brave , very foolish or even trying to embarrass him in to becoming a peacemaker , and unless they know something we don’t , only time will tell the answer to that one.

On reflection - I personally would love to think along the bravery line , as that this award may indeed - help Obama and indeed the rest of the world , move on from mere words to hard actions , which can only be good for us all , after all a positive act usually spawns positivity………………here’s hoping ………………..:)

Judge , Jury and Executioner …..yet again ……..:)

I was at an art fair last Saturday , and this was held in a place called - The Sage , which is basically an odd looking , but acoustically perfect concert venue - checking out what various artists from our area had to offer, with an eye to maybe expanding my own very small collection

There was some very nice abstract work on display , and one piece in particular had me so distracted , it had - what I can only describe as a Pre Raphaelite beauty and I nearly walk in to each other , although - how I could have missed a 6 ft tall , Rossetti - red head is beyond me .........

………….must have been the art ………….:)

Anyway - next door to The Sage is a public art gallery called The Baltic , so just to continue my day of kulture ( sic) , I took a look at the stuff on display in there.

On entering - I was confronted with several floors that were unfortunately , closed due to exhibitions being set up , a party which was being held for those who choose the art on display , and a single solitary exhibition which consisted of a truly awful set of dark and out of focus , photographs of drains and sewers , entitled - Subterranean .

I noticed there were a couple of young students sat in this particular exhibition ?? , scribbling some notes for a college project , and it turned out they were doing it on this collection , simply because there was nothing else.

Well - that was until I turned up , and directed their attention toward the delights of a Pre Raphaelite painting entitled - Isabella and Pot of Basil - which is in yet another local museum.

Now - maybe I shouldn’t have done this , as I’m forcing my own opinions on others - which I surprisingly - don’t like doing , but I honestly thought that it seemed a waste of time - writing a thesis on a “drainpipe down a hole”, simply because it’s the only art available , but as I said a million times before - who am I to judge , as I don’t attend lavish - back slapping parties , about exhibiting photographs of plumbing…. ……….do I …….:)

Hmmmmmm…….now I’m just wondering……..can’t you just cut all these people , plus the wasted public money out of the equation , and simply go to your local hard wear shop for that , or if your feeling really , really adventurous , simply – type……

… “plumbing porn”..……..in to the net ………

……..or on second thought’s …..maybe not ..:)

…..”and no one’s home “………

Those with long memories will remember the on going - two month battle I had last year to get the lights turned on ,down the steep flights of steps that I have to carry my mountain bike down every morning , well its getting dark again and guess what the lights are not on ………………..!!!

The edited version of last years saga was - several million phone calls by me to all the “buck passers in the world” , and after failing this , I then filled in a “near miss”
form , which basically states you nearly had an accident , so action had to be taken .

The action - well …… could that have been fixing the lights……..no way ………

The action was , and wait for this …………..

………………….telling me personally not to use the stairs……..

……..which is fair enough , but failed to take in to consideration all the other people in the world who use the stairs , and I reckon this fact must have escaped their attention in their “ back covering - haste”, and remember this is a Health and Safety Department - giving me this advice !!!.

The lights were eventually switched on , after some high level representations , but as the light mornings wore on , they were obviously switched back off , which is now a problem as its pitch dark in the mornings - yet again .

I had a conversation with our site engineer today , and eventually got to the bottom of it all , and it seems the lights in question actually belong to the police authority - yes those guardians of penny pinching……….sorry……sorry……..public safety :)

So it’s a letter to the Chief Constable – pointing out public safety - then :)

Lions led by Donkeys

This is a phrase which originally came from the First World War , and applies to the British Army , the lions being the ordinary troops and the donkeys the officers.

Now a days the officers tend to go in to action with their men , but ultimately it seems the politicians have control , so they are certainly the new donkeys , as if you didn’t all know :).


Now with this in mind –


I notice it was splashed all over the news in the U.K. on Monday, that a Sergeant from our armed forces had dared to ask our Defence Minister if it was possible to get some more troops in to Afghanistan , and with all respect to that Sergeant , if the minister and his ilk , had actually listened to the millions of people protesting against the war in the first place , he and his mates wouldn’t be in that position , getting their asses shot off for absolutely ....f**k all……

Now I’m not criticizing our armed forces here , merely the people that put them there, who are incidentally , the self same people who will not supply the proper equipment to the troops on the ground , and do not want to know when they come home wounded – either .

The minister - was no doubt on a fact finding mission , something our troops dislike with a vengeance , as all the ethnic minorities are wheeled out for inspection , and essential armoured vehicles , which should be used on the ground , are instead used to aimlessly drive politicians around heavily guarded compounds.

I recently read about politicians complaining about their plane being late because the seats had to be stripped out to accommodate wounded soldiers , and one officer quiet rightly had words with them about this , which you may laugh at but this would have been totally against his military training .

I also read last week , that one of our military commanders in Afghanistan , and not a politician I hasten to add , had proposed the idea of actually talking to The Taliban , instead of trying to shoot them , which is probably an odd attitude for a professional soldier , who’s main aim in life is , to be frank – killing the enemy .
.
Actually calling politicians - donkeys is unfair to the donkeys themselves , as I can recall being out and about with work one day , and after hearing a strange noise saw a donkey peering over the fence and it was braying , obviously wanted a stroke , so of course I obliged , and this made my day , unlike listening to a grey suited liar .

……..just some t.v. chef ………….

Can I recommend yet another biography………………………

This time its by errant English eccentric and sometimes chef - Keith Floyd , and its entitled - Floyd - Out of the Frying Pan in to The Fire , and needless to say its so interesting , I’ve read it cover to cover in a few days .

I can see why Keith was the person he was , after reading this book , and this was brought home to myself yesterday , when joining an unexpected small family reunion last night .

My dad is due to go in to hospital for a minor operation , so I went over to see him , not knowing my sister , who I haven’t seen for ages , would be there , and a mere five hours and several hundred stories I’d half forgotten – later - I escaped :)

This particular evening was so full of personal highs , lows and the odd tragedy , it has inspired me to write a piece of prose I will entitle - Home , which will take a while to finish , considering all the elements this will contain .

People often say I don’t say a lot about myself on here , mainly because I havn’t got the usual lists of likes and dislike - I suspect , but if you take a little care to read my stuff and look at my photographs , it actually speaks volumes about me …..

…………….oh no I’ve given all my secrets away ………..!!!!!!....................:)

I’m actually sat here writing this at 8.21 in the morning , eating an apple with a
Union Jack sticker on the end of my finger , bearing the legend - Cox , which is the type of apple and not rude - I hasten to add :) .Mulling over the wealth of info from last night and thinking I must write it all down because I’m sure to forget it all , the problem being is I cannot seem to access the floppy disc all my previous stuff is on – and any help on this problem would be appreciated :)


Talking of help - a big public thanks to all of you who have written to me re’ my Photoshop file conversion - still not sorted - hence the empty space , which if it stays much longer , I’m thinking of calling it ……..Global Paradox :) ………..

Talking Shop

This is unfortunately - not a magical shop that talks , and probably belongs in the plotline of a Tim Burton film , but an English phrase which is normally applied to the meetings that have oh so “important” items on the agenda which are talked about for hours , but surprisingly there is no resolution and that leads to yet another meeting and another and yet another ………ad nauseum ………….

This analogy , as you have all probably guessed - I’m going to apply to the recent
U.N. Security Council gathering and of course the …..rich little boys club………… …….sorry……sorry……..…..G20 meeting in Pittsburgh :)

Yes that’s right - more political comment…………………………..

Ok - I have heard and seen a whole load of fine words spoken in both places about - peace , financial muzzling , carbon cuts , nuclear disarmament and other mysteries of the universe , but hey - we’ve all heard this before in one guise or another

In the U.N. a few weeks ago - you then had - true to the script - Col Gaddafi , the court jester throwing his papers about , and the majority of your own representatives walking out when the Iranian President speaks , and I’ve said this before - our politicians are there to engage the Iranian president in dialog , and simply not walk away – protest or not .

This one action , in my own opinion, sends a clear signal that politicians are simply not serious about this or indeed , any of the topics they speak about in such glowing and of course - publicity grabbing - terms


Meanwhile back in the real world , if you are having a meeting and you disagree with what the other person is saying you don’t simply take the huff and walk out - that’s what five year old do ………….don’t they …...........and certainly not advocates of “world peace “ .

Global Paradoxon

Now there's something you don’t see very often :) .

I think its probably a made up phrase as to what happens when you try to upload an image the system doesn’t like- i.e. not in one of the usual formats.

Hence the blank space - below .

I’ve discovered the image creation part of Photoshop and have been quiet busy creating , but unfortunately the format they are saved in are non uploadable , so can one of you smartasses ………..sorry ……sorry ……tech heads out there , please tell me if its possible to convert the format .

Otherwise it’s the blank space , although I could say its purposely left blank and your minds eye can create something …………….continues in the big book of pretentiousness …….:)

See above for explaination

Women and Children First ..................

I ‘ll probably be hated for ever and ever and ever by the handfull of excellent and considerate women drivers out there for saying this , but I have a real problem with women drivers , especially ones with cars full of kids .

This is certainly not not meant as a sexist statement or indeed dammning every women driver in the world to hell , but merely based on my own observations.

This usually happens , especially around schools at starting or leaving times .

If I’m on my mountain bike I will ride absolutely miles out of the way to avoid passing these places as Its real run the gauntlet stuff , in that as i’ve personally nearly been knocked off my bike several times in about 100 yards – no exaggeration.

Today - I was going out in the car only to be met - first with a woman overtaking a car on a blind bend , next a woman cutting the next corner at speed , and finally a woman driving on the wrong side of the road , all coming from guess where - the local
school , and guess what I was cut up by yet another woman coming from the junction heading towards the school !!! , and all this was in the space of maybe quarter of a mile.

Now as I’ve said , there are some excellent women drivers out there who can drive 100% better than me , and yes we all have our off days and make mistakes , but is this just me , or have I maybe got an cloak of invisibility on my car and bike :)

….explanations and abuse , including the words “sexist male pig “ to the usual address …..please…...:)