Casualties of Society ???

Well isn’t it odd how things turn out - as the capitalist society lies in economic tatters around the world , the once proud , very expensive - BMW car owners are now on U.K. television ………………… crying poverty …………………………….


Now this is “surprisingly” not for their wives and children , I hasten to add , but hinting on the fact they may have to ……………………………………………

…………………………”sell the Beemer ( BMW ) ….!!!!!!”………………….

…………………..well pardon me , if I don’t immediately rush out and start a charitable fund to help pay for their petrol :)


Talking of the recession, I notice the useless - political free loaders ……….
…….sorry ………sorry ………..G90 group , are due to hold a meeting in the U.K . - to supposedly try and fix the global mess created by their expensive car owning - friends :).

You may have all noticed - skepticism is an art I practice fairly regularly , but today I’ll desist , and instead offer a ….GASP…….solution in a few lines –


How about a basic frame work for an agreement be worked out in advance , and then all the interested parties will have an online , video conference from the comfort of their own countries instead.

The conference is ongoing until an agreement is made , thus saving a fortune in wasted time, money and effort , sitting around a table in a foreign country – disagreeing .


Simple…..rather like me ;)





The clocks going forward at the weekend have certainly paid dividends already, as this morning there were three deer a few feet away from me, next to the cycle
track , although its still maybe a little too early for the green skies and blue suns – yet :)

Fast Forward ..........Again :)

Hands up all those people who thought I’d be talking about , the clocks going forward an hour yesterday to British Summer Time ( daylight saving to our friends elsewhere in the world )

Well that’s a long argued about almost , historical subject , so surprisingly I’m not saying a thing :)

Yes - It’s a bit of an inconvenience putting my lights back on my bike in the
morning , but it is more than compensated for by being able to see much more wildlife on my journey to work , for the next few weeks at least , and more importantly - capture a certain light for photography at sunrise which only happens a few days a year , and of course I missed this before the clocks went back because of cloud cover.

So now you’ll all be expecting wonderfully composed photographs of the sunrise on a perfect English morning , well think again , unless you like green skies and blue suns – that is :)



What ??? – O – Therapy
----------------------------------


The guy’s upstairs at work had a Best of The Ramone’s C.D. on at work today , and of course the last song you hear always sticks in your mind for ages – doesn’t it :)

So - later on I went off across the hospital for a little Physiotherapy on my back , and wandered up to the reception desk and asked for the ……………………

……………………and wait for this …………………………….

……………………………..“Psychotherapy…… Department “ :)


The lady behind the desk was in her late 50’s I’d say , and she curiously peered over her glasses at me , as women of that age tend to do , as I absent mindedly relayed my request , with The Ramone’s track still bouncing around in my head at full
volume ……………………….

PSYCHOTHERAPY …… …PSYCHOTHERAPY………. PSYCHOTHERAPY.......
……………………… PSYCHOTHERAPY………………………

…………………….and she smiled and said ……………………..

“Have you brought your own straight jacket with you or shall we supply one - young man …………. Physiotherapy …………….if indeed , that is what you want , is through that door and on the left “ :)



Ha !!!.................. that was me told :)

Chopped or Diced ???

The past few weeks have had an inadvertent - Japanese theme to it - what with a re run of U.K. motoring program - Top Gear racing the Bullet train in a Nissan Skyline , the travel show - Lonely Planet featuring - Tokyo , and the arrival of a air mail parcel from the oh so mysterious east , the contents of which are top secret and are not squid orientated you’ll be relieved to hear :)

I also saw a program on B.B.C 4 the other day which had colour photographs and black and white film of Japan in 1908 , and it was in some of the area’s I had visited myself on my travels , so I thought I’d watch it .

What did surprise me was the three or so , temples that were featured , looked exactly the same then as they did now , and a working mans out fit was identical to some guys I had been talking to in the gardens of the Imperial Palace last year.

Saying that this was also a time of change thus there was quiet a few people wearing western style clothing , which I think is a bit of a shame to be honest as I do like the traditional clothing which seems to be rarely worn in Japan today , although I did see several women in a park lat year and after a pathetic “baku guijin”( ignorant foreigner) act - I photographed them .

I think I’ll keep this program for when Atsu visits , as no doubt it will fascinate her.

This oriental theme must have been in my mind , as I was awoken this morning at three am by the oh so “delicate” sound of a helicopter , which was so low it was actually moving the trees around…………………………

Yes it was my old mates the police , who were - no doubt - chasing parking ticket evaders :) , but surprisingly , instead of being annoyed , this got me thinking about booking a trip over Tokyo at night in a helicopter - next year - talk about lateral thinking :)

Talking of choppers , I learnt yet another Japanese word today , and that is

………………..Hanetobasuis ………………….

………….which in reality is one word made up of two others and means –

…………… “to cut off someone’s head and send it flying.” .

Now I suppose the nearest English word is decapitation, which usually relates to an accidental death , but why do I get the feeling the Japanese word is probably something to do with some one violently hacking someone else’s head off with a Katana.

I suspect through my own personal experience , this is probably due to the fact it seems nearly everyone under 25 sits and reads ultra violent manga comics on the Tokyo metro , to while away the hours on the long journey home :)

Corporate Clap Trap

A while ago we were all sent on a diversity training course at work , in what was I assume to be a corporate back covering exercise , as it was telling you to treat people equally and showing you words and phrases you cannot use due to today’s political correct world , in both - your workplace and external dealings ………….etc ……..etc …..etc ……...

Now I’m not very surprisingly not going to argue these points , as its been covered several ………errrr …………. several thousand times ……..??? - by myself :)


I will however relate this , instead -

I was in a meeting with our management team the other day and a certain very senior manager used two of those…………………..

………………………..GASP !!!……………………….


…………………. “ forbidden “ …… words ……………………………….


I looked around the table at the other expressions , which ranged from mild amusement to taken aback .


Now your all thinking - what has he said ???..... it must be something fairly serious – maybe racially orientated ….the N- word or even the P – word maybe , or possibly disparaging words relating to sexuality or gender ??? .

The words he used was …………………and wait for this…………………………..


…………and I’ll be surprised if anyone knows its alleged meaning ……..…


…………………..…………….”nitty gritty “…………………………………….


………………………………..told you …………………..:)


These two words mean in modern society - “to get to the bottom of something” but according to the diversity people –

“ it originated as a term for the unimportant debris left at the bottom of ships after the slaves had been removed and that the meaning was supposedly , extended to include the slaves “

Now I’m not sure where this information originally came from , but according to my extensive research it has absolutely no historical grounding what so ever , and could equally apply to head lice !!!.


So the point of the above – well ………………….

I reckon you could probably go around inadvertently, offending people . every day for the rest of your life by just opening your mouth , as the language we speak is being turned in to a politically correct minefield , and I think our P.C. friends have gone too far on this one , by twisting what was a very dark chapter of history to their own pathetic ends.

................................”positive discrimination for head lice” …………………………..

………………………about sums these people up :)

Dig 4 Victory

I see the television archaeologists - Time Team were back in my home county on last weekends program , and this time they were digging a medieval village from the 13th century.

Unless you trip over the many castles we have here , I don’t think we actually realize how much history is literally at your feet , well that is , until its pointed out to you by the band of misfits on the ‘Team , and yes misfits really do sum them up , although maybe English* eccentrics is probably kinder :)

( * and one New Zealander )

I think archeology is probably a dusty old subject which is usually written off by a lot of people , but I always think its made interesting by the list of characters who make it their professional focus , and I love the ‘Team’s , resident pottery expert who just walks in , picks up a tiny piece of dirty smashed pot , that has been in the ground for hundreds of years , and can tell you the style of the object, date it and even tell you where it was made !! , although I can do something similar - like tell the make and model of a motorcycle at 100 yards , although not quiet the same - I do agree :)

A guy called Phil Harding is the resident – “mangle wurzle” ( this means he comes from the south west of England ) and starts every sentence with “ oooh arrrh “ ( which means - yes)

“ oooh arrrh ….that be Roman …… that be…………… “

I bet I’m totally confusing the non English readers here , but to be honest even us English need an interpreter when Phil gets started :)




Cultural Divide ???

Here’s a strange one , even in our own long standing , multicultural society .

One of the Indian religions - Hindu has a funeral rite which consists of publicly burning the body of the deceased on a wooden pyre , now shock – horror apart , this has surprisingly enough been carried out in the U.K. in the past , and there is supposedly an old law on the statue books , still allowing this ancient custom , and where this one came from is beyond me ………..the Viking invasion maybe ????

Now there’s a guy in my part of the world who is requesting that the authorities allow him this last rite, but unfortunately they will not agree to this , regardless of the past precedents which have been set , thus he is taking them to court .

I know cremation is a long standing western funerary process , so I suppose the Hindu version would be fine if it is carried out under similar , controlled circumstances , and anyway what ever happened to discretion now a days.

Were not talking about the even more ancient rite of excarnation - Wikipedia it :) , here - are we , and I just wonder if the self same authorities would argue cremation with a gang of long haired , horned helmeted , axe wielding - maniacs , fresh off the boat from Scandinavia :)

Horns of a Dilemma

New Photo is called - I







I’m never quiet sure whether my actions in certain circumstances are correct.

Take yesterday - I saw a bright yellow Canary which was obviously someone’s escaped pet bird , being chased by a Magpie , and of course I intervened , thus letting the Canary escape .

This was rather like the hawk and my Converse story of a few weeks ago, and yes I admit I take birds off my cats too , so I suppose I’ve got a bit of a history of this kind of thing :)

The question is should I be doing this , as cats aside - the hawk and the magpie have got to survive too , and yes it may not be pleasant standing by and watching this happen , but unfortunately this is essential for survival. in the natural world , and maybe I - like the rest of you , subscribe to the “ out of sight , out of mind” - way of thinking.

I don’t really like watching nature programs on T.V. , especially the ones which have young animals being killed to prove the survival of the fittest ethos - over and over again in glorious flippin’ Technicolor !!! , and was particularly appalled when the B.B.C. repeatedly showed several lions attacking an elephant last year , and yes I know its nature , but my own instinct is to help.

Sorry …………..I can now just imagine the lion picket line outside my house with the …………….“lions have got to eat too” ………….. placards :)

Assault and Battery

Well I think I should have knuckled down to the good old DIY jobs on Friday and not get tempted by the evil mistress ………….Harley Davidson , as I had subsequently decided to go and get some oil for my Harley in the car , but guess what the battery was as flat as a pancake !!!, so I got no oil for the bike or indeed any painting done , as I had to sort this battery out.

The main cause of this particular mishap is actually me not using the car frequently enough , and this problem will get worse as the good weather comes on , so after fully charging the battery , I came up with a novel solution to the problem , in which you attach a solar powered battery charger to the car permanently , thus keeping the battery topped up – fingers crossed :)

I’ll get my oil next Saturday :)




Well ……………. clutch my straws :)
-----------------------------------------------

It was my first proper union job last Thursday and of course it’s the usual baptism by
fire , but hey - I always prepare for the worst when I take up these cases, so I’m
always’s ready :)

Without going in to too much detail because of confidentiallity - this was supposed to be an “informal” interview , the problem was and wait for this …………..
…………………there were three managers and one personnel officer involved …… …………………hence I smelt a rat……..a big f**ker too :)

The actual meeting itself got quiet nasty , more through their lack of understanding of the rules , and me than me citing them to prove a point didn’t help either :)

Meeting over I subsequently had one of the supervisors involved , ring me up to give me even more of a hard time !!! , so rather than argue , I just reported him, citing one of my work colleagues as a witness to his disgraceful behavior on the phone.
…………………………goodbye and goodnight :)

You simply cannot go in to a formal situation like this , especially if the outcome is potentially serious , and not know the specific rules and regulations that govern that situation , then violently berate somebody who actually does.

Saying that - my own line of questioning was wholly in my own client’s favour , but hey………. “ all is fair in love and war “ …………..as the old saying goes :)

Hmmm ………………better go get some more straw , ready for the next time :)

Autumnal Variations

New photograph is called ................Autumnal Variations

D.I.Y.

Now there’s a subject I’ve never tackled on here ……. cue the sound of everyone switching off ……….. en mass :)

Bear with me though – it’s not a mere tale of gloss or emulsion , and no - I haven’t become addicted to watching the myriad of home improvement television shows on satellite television – either :)

I’m sure you’ve all heard all the old - “painting over the cracks” and “glossing over the facts” - jokes before , so surprisingly , there will be none of that – either :)

So what’s left ? - I hear you all thinking , well that’s - me , several paintbrushes and tins of paint - a recipe for disaster maybe , but that was all averted when the sun comes out and the words - Harley and Davidson spring in to my tiny mind :)

Talking of DIY - Keith one of my workmates is still off on holiday and we needed his keys to get some equipment today , so Fat Al and I took a trip out to see him.

This was also a social visit just to check there was no skeletons locked in his car , clutching a discharged cell phone :) ……….. see last week .

Keith had been doing a bit of painting himself , so what was the first thing Fat Al did ………yes you guessed it ……………..leant in the wet paint……………………
…….and this immediately got him a “wonderful” seat on a stool in the hall , far away from the paint , for his sins , and no Kit Kat biscuits either :)

Bic or Katana ???

You’d have thought , I would have realised by now , what with all my own personal dealings and goings on - that “the pen is mightier than the sword” , but me being me - I can’t help but have very strong tendencies towards the latter , as my own personal ethos is a metaphorical –

…………live by the sword ……..die by the sword ……………..

I do realise this is an very outmoded way of thinking , but I suppose in a modern context , it is being wholly accountable for your actions, and realising - if you create waves , be prepared for a f**king big storm …………………………..

I’ve been told I have a very , very intimidating physical presence, which I have been errrr ……..possibly ……… known to use on occasions to my own advantage , but only towards the bullies and cowards of this world :) , hence I usually get interviewed by three managers and a supervisor at a time - no exaggeration.

To be honest this doesn’t really bother me , as my own imagined threat aside , I can hold them off on a verbal basis – no problem , and in the real world , the sheer amount of managers present , could be classed as intimidation , but again its all part of the game , and when the music stops , I’ll have a seat – guaranteed :)


I think I’ve come to the firm conclusion that -


Pen or indeed sword are irrelevant - the intelligence that wields - is the key .


Can I be a pretentious - smartass and write – Skullplait 19.3.09 - under my
quote , or maybe not :)




Proper Quote of the day –


“You have enemies …..good ….. it means you have stood up for yourself “ - WSC.


I always think its fine quoting this stuff , but actually being able to do it in real life , is another thing entirely ……………..and personally I’ve got a queue – around the block :)

Here We Go..................................

Well I did ask for this by becoming a Union Rep’ , and I somehow think my narrative of the cases I participate in will probably be common place on here now , so prepare for a glance in to the wacky world of workplace politics, as I’ve got a formal meeting coming up next week .

Understandably - these details will all be edited to remove - names , personal
details , and to generally protect the innocent :).

Ok -

Some managers have a very misguided ethos of getting the job done regardless of the
cost or consequences , which is fine as long as you are prepared to face those consequences if it invariably all goes wrong , which surprisingly in my own experience - just doesn’t happen.

So with this in mind –

I had a case today in which a manger , who is incidentally a health and safety rep’
too , was trying to get one member of staff to impersonate another , as the original member of staff who had undergone a detailed induction for this particular job , was on holiday .

I told the person not to do it , because -

A .You simply cannot impersonate another member of staff – legally.
B. He had no job training as he was not inducted.
C. He would not be insured if an accident happened .
D. The manager would not back him up in the case of even a minor incident occurring

I always reckon you probably wouldn’t need unions if you had half decent management - but that’s just my opinion :)


To add an amusing end to this story –

We reckon the member of staff involved -

Would probably need several months of notice - to go to Coronary Burger Inc - every night ( not saying the other member of staff is fat – honest ) .

Be given thousands of ££££ worth of plastic surgery , a course of experimental - height reduction and aging - treatment , and last but not least - a wig.

……………to even start looking like the other member of staff.
………..oh yeah ……did I forget to mention they were a woman too….. silly me :)

I Stand Korrected

We were talking about live music today , and were corrected on some of the more technical terminology , we were using , by one of our …..errrrrr…..more …errrrr……senior members of staff ………………….

Now , according to our resident Rip Van Winkle –

“a gig is a horse drawn carriage” , and…………………….

“ a band is something that is made of rubber , is elastic and used to secure things together………………”

I was then quiet reliably informed that , the correct terminology we should be using is – concert and group - respectively .

Well this of course this tripped us all off………………………..

………….. as the next part of the conversation included ……………………

………..soiree’s , appassionato’s , tertian harmony’s , orchestration , lute’s , conductors, concerto’s and quartet’s ……………..

……………to name but a few :) , and I quote…………


……………….. “a total lack of respect for our elders and betters” …………….


……………….. the words – kitchen and heat - spring to my own mind :)

Engage Brain ........................

Back in the good old days of black and white television - milk , eggs and cheese were always top of the healthy items list , but then again - so was smoking , and who can forget the famous advertising slogan…………….. “Guinness is good for you “ :)

Unfortunately , all have been proved totally wrong by time , and the armies of scientific guys in the white coats and horn rimmed glasses :)

Fast forward to now - I can remember some advice circulating recently from U.K. Health Authorities , saying you had to drink “several glasses of water a day” as it supposedly “flushes your system out “ , but this particular gem of information , has all but strangely disappeared off the face of the earth , and of course there are even more authority sponsored – fads……. probiotics and of course the ubiquitous …

………………………………“five a day “ ……………………………………..


Now with the past in mind - I just wonder how long it will take our horned rimmed friends to click on that five portions of pesticide ridden , genetically modified fruit and veg’ is maybe not so good for you :) , and I also notice that the so called scientifically proven “ digestion aiding” probiotic products , always seem to be exclusively aimed at women ……………. why ????? ……………. as my limited biological knowledge suggests their digestion system is identical to men , or am I missing something here :)


A friend of mine who drinks red wine , which if you believe health advice is supposedly good for you , was telling me a story the other day , on how a bottle of red wine has gone from 6 to 10 units* ( * units refer to the safe maximum alcohol consumption per day ) , yet neither the capacity or indeed the alcohol content of the bottle has changed ……………strange that :)

It’s rather like saying a mile is now two miles because it suits your purposes , but hey the government has got to pretend its concerned about our health whilst appeasing the drinks industry , so it can still rake billions of pounds of taxes in .

It’s called having your ”low fat “cake and eating it :)

Looking at the news over the weekend - I personally wouldn’t like to be treated in a medical capacity by either the doctor who advocates - taxing chocolate , or indeed the chief medical officer who advocates - a minimum price for alcohol , as both of these actions are in effect - treating the symptoms of the illness and not the illness itself
( obesity ) , and you would have thought these two “Brains of Britain” would have worked that one out :)

Words and Numbers

I reckon the world can probably be split right in to two , on the ongoing question of –
words verses numbers .

Numbers are as constant and inevitable as the sunrise , 1+1 never deviates from 2 , and neither does Pi for that matter , well - unless you ” r square it “ - that is :)

I come from a purely scientific background in which logic, analysis and indeed calculations , are a routine part of my day , so you’d think numbers would be a natural choice for me - think again :)

To be honest - numbers are far too cold and clinical for me , there is no mystery or depth to them and no real creativity - discounting theorization and of course – fractals :) , and taking this one step further - it’s a purely - automated process , working them out in your head , or for us mere mortals - using a calculator :)

A question - would you rather read a blackboard full of quadratic equations “proving” the universe is infinite, or a poem by Keats ? , and don’t get me wrong , I find the idea of an infinite universe an absolutely fascinating theory , but that’s all it is - an improvable theory.

I personally would take Keats anytime , because that and its ilk , moves and inspires me more than a universe of numbers can ever hope to .

Mind you - I do realise that without mathematics, for example - I wouldn’t be sat here writing this or you reading it either , as all computer systems are based on logic , which as you all know is a part of mathematics , as is a substantial part of our modern world.

I don’t think it’s a lack of understanding on my own part , just a reluctance to enthuse about yet another - overcomplicated and thoroughly dull subject , but as I say there’s two sides to every story , and I’ve probably united an army of numerologists ? - who are currently marching , calculators and abacuses - drawn ....... upon my position - rather like the mob in an old Frankenstein movie :)

The question is ……….. am I the monster or its creator :)

P.R. Coup???

Doctors in the U.K , have been recently awarded a big pay rise , in return for them promising to improve their services , and of course several months later this hadn’t happened , so of course good old British public opinion has now shamed them in to it doing it.

So you can imagine my surprise when I heard an advert on the radio- extolling the virtues of this new and improved service a few weeks ago , and it implied that the improved opening hours and access was a bright idea dreamt up by the health trusts themselves , and was to be immediately implemented !!!

Hmmmm - I’m sure this would be called propaganda , in certain other
circumstances :)

There’s also an advert on the radio as regards - The Police Pledge , and I’ll set the scene for this one………………………..

I go to the Police ran sports centre , and more often or not its me and 15 police officers in there , and I also notice a lot of coloured crowns on the uniforms denoting high rank too , so we were all merrily exercising away , when the pledge comes on the radio .

The pledge basically consists of – ” listening to the public and doing something about it “

…………errrrr …… is this just me , or are we pointing out the bleedin’ obvious
here , and using public funds to do so , my peripheral vision and of course the audible groans of disbelief , told me I was probably not entirely alone in those thoughts – either :)

The next item on the radio , was the news , and that - oh so cheerily reported - our local police force are employing officers with criminal records , including grievous bodily harm ! …………………..never rains but it pours ………….doesn’t it …..:)

Solidarity

Firstly - I’d like to give my wholehearted support to all the good people of Northern Ireland standing shoulder to shoulder in their silent , peace vigils - today , and really do hope the isolated incidents in the province , do not spiral out of control.

The ongoing and highly successful peace process simply cannot be derailed , when ten years after , the historical divides in the community are actually healing , thus people are enjoying the prosperity and a free lifestyle- after many , many years of uncertainty.

Personally I cannot imagine what Northern Ireland was like under” the troubles” as they were understatedly - called , but the mainland U.K was in this shadow to a lesser extent , and I don’t want a return to this threat , so I can truly associate with my Northern Irish brothers and sisters in saying an unequivocal ……………….


……………………………..NO TO THE VIOLENCE …... ………………

Stranger than Fiction
----------------------------

Talk about the twilight zone…………………

One of my work colleagues - Fat AL , who is normally as miserable as sin has just flounced in to the office , like a love struck teenage girl - hopping , skipping and actually …………….smiling ……………..

Now has he – got the joys of spring , won the lottery , found the love of his life , or maybe that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ………………

………………errrrrr ………no …….. this is Fat AL - remember :)

It turns out he has just taken a phone message that one of our members of staff is off
ill - believe it or not !!!

Needless to say there is a history involved - there - but some people !!!

Pussy in da Hood

Whoa !!! …… what’s this about ….. I hear you all thinking …..

…………………… have I gone mad ……………………………………………

………………..and should anybody under 18 be reading any further :)


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+ DISCLAIMER – YOU MUST BE 18 TO GO BEYOND HERE + +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



I was accosted by two dusky maidens on the way home tonight ……………:)


Ok ok – so I was stroking my two black cat friends who live up the street , did you honestly think I even thinking about anything else - here :) , and yet another one appeared , so that’s three black cats !!! , and I’m just wondering what the big book of superstition says about that one :)

Round the corner lives a cat I’ve named Lugless Douglas ( lug is English slang for
ear ) and he has got part of his ear missing – hence the rhyming name , there’s Monty the streetfighter and his friend Stanley who always has a bemused expression on his face - from over the road .

Big Fat Friendly Cat and his mate- Toupee ( because it looks like he’s wearing a wig) are on the way to the shops , and of course Kitty Splodge who is from god knows where as I’ve seen him miles away on the other side of our estate .

Well It was a different slant on the old - attention grabbing - “free sex” opening line
But saying that , this could quiet easily be titled - My Neighbourhood by Cats , but there’s nothing like a bit of innocent shock value – just for a laugh :)




Jobs 4 the Boys

I’m always up for a change, so I was idly looking at a few different jobs on various websites for creative photography - today .

I stumbled across something that looked half interesting , but was highly surprised when the website loaded up as it was ………The U.S. Navy …… cue the old Village People song …….”In the Navy”………..and me running off over the horizon ……

The job looked quiet interesting with - free travel ,your own hammock and a life on the ocean wave :) , well that was right up until I came across the words ….
…………..c o m b a t c a m e r a m a n………………. that is :).

So that’d be me trying to film some one with a big gun , who is doing their utmost to try and……………. “ kill the imperialist Yankee pigs……… “*

( * taken from the international revolutionary handbook )

I don’t think me shouting…………… “hang on I’m English” …………….
…..whilst stood in front of a massive Stars and Stripes , certainly wouldn’t cut any ice – either :)

New photo is called -

The Ghost of a Compromise …………….

-This is actually a photograph of a graphic figure , i.e. not real , taken at a local station - last summer .This particular photograph has only recently been modified to suit my own requirements , as I tend to take lots of shots of interesting things, and it sometimes takes me absolutely ages to decide what to do with all of them , as the majority of my stuff ends up being - something else :)

Old News

The only movie I’ve ever seen twice on the big screen is Terminator 2 ( T2 ) , and I certainly didn’t wonder for one single second after watching it , if Harley did an accessory shotgun holder for my own Fatboy……..oh …..no no no …..:) I was actually reading about the new Terminator - Salvation film at the weekend and this sounds excellent , but I was equally thrilled by watching , what was probably the best sci fi movie I’ve seen in absolute ages- too :)

This was produced by a guy called J.J. Abrahams , who I recently slammed mercilessly in one of these articles , as he is the Director / creative force behind the television series - Lost , which if I remember correctly - and I quote myself here …….. “ is a series about absolutely .. ..nothing “ :)

Anyway the film is Cloverfield , and yes I know its not brand new , hence my title :)I must admit - initially I had my reservations about the Blair Witch - first person , camera technique which is used throughout the movie , and this almost made it run like a computer game at times , but saying that it gave the film a gritty - at the scene - feeling , which normal camerawork wouldn’t have achieved .

The monster and its parasitic offspring were absolutely fantastic for once , and although it is supposedly a Manga based creature it has the look and sound of a H.P. Lovecraft (1920 / 30's author ) creation to me , especially the aquatic look and the very slight glimpses of it , which he is both apt , to use in his own books.

The storyline has also got some Lovecraftian elements to it , as there is no explanation for the attack , shockingly for a Hollywood movie – there is absolutely no love story involved , and more importantly there is no firm or happy , cinematic ending to the story - alternative endings / website speculations - apart . This ironically - , could be the best , cinematic version of a Lovecraft style story sofar , which was bizarrely not written by the master himself :)

Best bits –

Statue of Liberty’s head goes flying ………….

Getting caught in the fire fight between the soldiers on the ground and the creature, and watching the bombs and bullets bounce off it .

The overlying – sheer and utter - futility of it all , as everything fails throughout the film.

.......................…Still not watching Lost ….. though …sorry J.J. :)

Help Help ....I'm a Fish :)

Keith one of my workmates is currently on holiday , so it was a bit of a surprise the other day when the phone rang , and it was him.

Now I’ve mentioned Keith’s antics on here several times , so I think you probably can guess the type of thing what’s coming here …………

It turns out - Keith had locked himself in his car due to a flat battery , and was using his mobile ( cell ) phone to contact us.

We really , really tried our best not to burst out laughing – honestly , but couldn’t help it , as did everybody else in the “rescue party” that turned up at his house , armed to the teeth with - crowbars , hammers , cutting equipment and of course a 12mp cameras to record the operation for posterity :)

The best part of it was - batteries can sometimes regain their charge after a while , so before we commenced - Operation Car Destruction , the central locking button was pressed once more , just to make sure, and guess what …………….…….the doors opened …………:)

Now as with all Keith’s - goings on , I’m saying absolutely nothing here , as the title sums it all up :)



Five Second Politico

Taking up from yesterdays comments - our authorities ( Bank of England ) are solely injecting , yet even more money in to the privately owned U.K. financial system , and wait for this ………

“They hope the banks will start loaning again” …….

Hang on a minute ………….HOPE ………

..........what do they mean …………… HOPE …..!!! ……………

.......have our authorities suddenly become powerless little schoolchildren – here - or am I missing something - yet again :)

How about they actually make it a condition of the cash injections , that the banks start loaning again , ironically - to the very people who bailed them out - no arguments !!!

Boo Hoo I'm a Crocodile

I had a smile to myself the other week , as the “wise monkeys” of various financial institutions in the U.K. were paraded on a television circus , which I believe in political circles is called - an enquiry :) , to apologise for bringing the country in to recession because of their actions.

What the “oh so apologetical “ faces did not say , were these are the self same people , despite being bailed out by the taxpayer are still awarding themselves massive bonuses , very reluctantly - passing on interest rate cuts , receiving massive retirement packages , and re possessing peoples homes left right and centre - one strike and your out – style !!!

So pardon me if like the rest of the population here – I don’t believe a word they say ! .

I’m definitely in favour of the various world wide government bail out packages for the economy as it actually helps the struggling people who are purely victims of this recession - now .

There is unfortunately a downside to all this , including the bank bail outs , and drawing an analogy – I suppose its just like a doctor treating the symptoms of an illness and not tackling the root cause , all this is doing is camouflaging the fact that the financial system simply is , and always will be in this form - unsustainable .

More worryingly - what I do not see happening is any firm , legislative safeguards being put in place by any authorities to stop this happening - yet again., and you can speculate all you want over this , but ask yourself why , at the end.

We’ve been stuck in this vicious financial circle - going back to at least the 1930’s - in which we climb slowly out of recession , the system goes on its merry unregulated way , making its many millions for the tiny minority – the system glitches – recession again – we all suffer !!!.

To take away a little of the seriousness - I liken this to Bart Simpson continually electrocuting himself in a classic episode of the cartoon , or a caveman putting his finger in the fire , and wondering why it hurts :).

Surely we are not all Bart Simpson’s or Ug the Cavemen’s , and therefore intelligent enough to learn , and pull ourselves away from this volatile system , but the real question is - do our political and financial masters want us to ? , and that as they say - is a debate for yet - another time :)

No Way Sis'

Well I reckon you are probably expecting a Metallica gig review today , but that’s oh so predictable , so I’ll talk about yet another music related topic - instead :)


………..”I notice the Chinese authorities have revoked British band - Oasis’s permit to tour on Monday , stating they are “unsuitable” because of their involvement in a Free Tibet Gig in 1998 …………..an…d……thi….s…….is….w .“


……CRACKLE … CRACKLE FIZZZ .FIZZZZTT…ZZZZZZZZZ…….ZZZZZ…FIZZ…..Z…


hang on what’s going on here ???????? ........…Oasis !!!………. hey - has someone been hacking in to my account and posting rubbish …………huh !!! - better go and report them……. :)……



Magnetised Death

Well - people carrying huge black beach balls emblazoned with Metallica are certainly not something you see at 11.00 on a freezing winters evening in Newcastle , ….errrr - people running round half naked – yes ………… beach balls – no :) Looking at the beach ball gang running around , if I didn’t know better I wouldn’t have needed snow to crash through the fence , so on this principle - do I have to give up my metal martyrdom , due to lack of commitment to the cause :)

Ok rewind ………….last nights bit of “hilarity” in the foyer before the gig , was announcing to all and sundry – “ I’ve only come to see the support band ” , and then watching peoples reaction , which ranged from mild agreement to violent disagreement - one of these days my humour will get me a good kicking - I’m sure :)

Later - I was talking to a friend of mine - Davey Volume - so called because he owned a record shop called Volume in the dim distant past , and you had the usual suspects from my own disco’s , stopping and saying hi :)It was getting so bad - Davey leans over and says - “hey are you f**king famous or something - I’d better ask for your autograph “ , and at that point it got even worse , as I look slightly like James Hetfield with hair circa 1989 - two girls wanted their photo taken with me – now that’s embarrassing …. ……………..so I’ll review the rest of the gig from under a stone :)

The gig itself was an excellent selection of tracks , and wait for this………. I actually liked …….gasp !!! …….some of their new stuff too , unlike my old friend - Evil Don who wouldn’t even come tonight as he reckoned they were all too ”nice for him” , and no doubt spent the evening in his Children of Bodom t shirt , listening to Cannibal Corpse- decapitating christ - or what ever they do in their spare time :)

Hmmmm ………and now I’m thinking possible career change here – maybe grow a goatee beard and become a James Hetfield impersonator………..


….FIZZZZ……FIZZ…..ZZZTCRACKLE…ZZZZTNORMAL SERVICE ….. …RESUMED….. …ZZZ… ….NORMAL SERVICE RESUMED........................


………..you were all saved by the cut off there ..

'''I just wonder if you really want to hear about the Gallagher brothers pedantic goings on , so I think I’ll just desist ……. right here- right now …:)

........" time marches on"........................*

Metallica tonight - cue the flashbomb’s , sweaty men dressed in black and total menace ………. and that’s just the audience :)

In actual fact - they are oddly , a band I don’t particularly like on c.d. - after the …….sell out

…….errrr…. no ….errr ………that’s cruel :)

………..errrr… how about ....

errrr......commercial..?……..Black Album ….of quiet a few years ago:)


Now after this particular revelation , and luckily for me , they do play a good selection of tracks both old and new - live , and tend to rock the dodgy ones up too……so I’ll let them off :) .


Commercialism - I suppose is a financial necessity in today’s world , and you get very few musicians sticking to their original ethos because of this , and yes there are some notable exceptions , but keeping the faith doesn’t usually sell c.d’s , so it unfortunately boils down to - musical integrity verses economic reality .

I suppose in a creative scenario, compromise shouldn’t really happen , but - and changing the subject ever so slightly , how many classical artists lived their life in abject poverty - painting their own unique vision of the world , only to have their work “discovered” and critically acclaimed , after their own death .

A question - would Lars Ulrich ( drummer and modern art owner ) cut his ear off for his own music ?......... who can say……. :) , but stranger things have happened if you take a look at their “warts and all” – Some Kind of Monster - DVD , which is certainly a brave release , considering the nicey nicey public image some bands purport to have .

I’ve seen Metallica live several times , and they definitely don’t disappoint , so I’ll be there at 6.00pm when the doors open , and no doubt crashing through the fence on the way home , as snow and ice is forecast for this evening

.……..the things I do for metal …….:)

( * lyrics from - For Whom the Bell Tolls – Metallica )

The Haunted Car of Death :)

I occasionally report odd phenomena on here, which usually happens to me on my way to work in the early morning , and today is no exception……

Saying that - even I’ve got a rational explanation for a modern and real looking car driving down the cycle path towards me at 6am – this morning , although how it got through the solidly locked and barred gates is yet another matter :)

No doubt - you can all see the “spectral car” story coming a mile off here , with its skeletal occupants - glowing green , trying to run me over and send me to hell :)

No such luck :) , and as it turned out , it was a couple of police officers in an unmarked car , which explains the locked gates – away , who were out looking for some kids who had escaped from a secure institution, a few miles away, over the weekend

Saying that - what on earth would these kids be doing trekking up and down a frosty cycle path , days after the event , at 6am - is beyond me .

Maybe - looking for a mountainbiker to scare - oh sorry - that’s the police’s job- isn’t it :)