Non Stick

I see our old mate Teflon Tone ( Tony Blair ex U.K. Prime Minister ) has taken the stand today in The Iraq Enquiry , but it seems his co – conspirator - Lord Goldsmith has been paving the way for a nice easy ride., although I did notice the only people to get a standing public ovation were the pair of government lawyers , who stated the case for war was illegal

To cut straight to the chase , I personally do not see why we should be wasting public money on this toothless enquiry , which has nil legal status , hence - no oaths to actually tell the truth , and certainly no consequences at the end of all the proceedings .

On the other hand , the calls to try the small band of officials for war crimes are a little harsh, although the definition of waging aggressive war does fit that particular charge, and anyway I was thinking about more of ………………


……heads on spikes ……myself ………


……..although I reckon Tone will still be talking - hours after his head is removed….

…..…” but …but …but ……Saddam had his finger on the nuke / chemical / biological weapon button “……….:)


No seriously –

We certainly need to change the law in this country , as regards the procedures about going to war , as a direct consequence of the past few years.

We simply cannot allow our government to send people to die in their hundreds on the flimsy evidence provided by a tiny group of politicians and officials , but in the meantime - if this current situation is allowed to carry on , there must be serious legal consequences at the end of it , to try and get people to think twice , if nothing else.

Talking of politicians - what ever next - The Republicans laughing at Obama’s jokes.. ……………surely not :)

….from the mouths of decadence…………….

Whilst surfing the net a few weeks ago - I stumbled across a story about an American guy going on hunger strike for 31 days.

Hunger strike, as you all know , is a pretty serious protest at the best of times - which as you all know , only normally occurs against highly oppressive regimes .

This particular act of defiance , has been carried out in the past by - Tibetan Freedom Fighters , Mahatma Ghandi , various members of the Suffragette movement , Turkish political prisoners , Detainees in Guantanamo Bay , and yes I will mention the I.R.A hunger strikers of the 1980’s against our U.K. Government in this piece , just to be fair and balanced about it all :)

I was of course - highly intrigued as to why he was doing it –

Now - was there a possibility of him being illegally held in jail without trial ? , or maybe - had his civil liberties and freedom of speech - removed ?, or heaven
forbid – was he being tortured by a foreign power in a hell hole of a prison ? .

No - and as it turns out this protest was against the current , and legally elected
“Socialist Government “ in America., who amongst other things were proposing……

..summary execution for those daring to criticise them...

……oh no hang on ….that was The Republicans …..wasn’t it …….:)

No – seriously , and as far as I could gather, it was amongst all the other hard line “Commie” things that they had in mind – like using taxes to help vulnerable parts of society with for example – health care , instead of financing the next “legitimate”
war. against those…………………
…………....Red’s…….no….. no …..sorry …….Terrorists under the bed ……….:)


I n all honesty - I do think this guy’s actions are silly in the extreme - considering the real circumstances of this situation , and just wonder what his reaction would be to a serious set of circumstances …..suicide bombing ……..???

Extremists don’t you just love them :)

Who are you...........again.............

A friend of mine who has worked for the same company for over 35 years , recently received a letter from their company , astonishingly - asking all staff to provide evidence as to who they were ! ! !.


Hmmmmm ………what’s going on here I see you thinking …….


……..those pesky Terminators infiltrating from the future – again…??? ….:)


No – this was a check on eligibility to work in the U.K. , and the fact that my friend has worked there for 35 years , plus the fact that their families - purely English roots are traceable back to 1531 , seemed highly irrelevant in this particular - politically correct - case !!!


Ah yes its P.C. yet - again .

I personally liken this type of situation - to everyone in the country being viewed as a illegal immigrant , unless they can prove otherwise , and of course the real offenders are still out there , but have had their day of reckoning – postponed , as the authorities go through the millions of legitimate citizens - documents , asking serious , searching questions as they go ………like………



Oh your uncle fought at Agincourt ….hmmmm…. you must be a French illegal ….

Your dad discovered Australia – free loading Aussie…………

Queen Elizabeth – huh – German illegal I reckon …and her family too …..

A silver - killer robot !!! …….its back to the future for you …. then mate ….



I was talking last week about people voting for hard right parties in a protest vote , and this is exactly the kind of crazy thing that drives even the most moderate of people to do this – regardless of the consequences , and I really do not think the authorities who enforce political correctness realise this fact .

I passionately believe in fair and equal treatment for all , but British ( you can substitute your own country here , as I’m sure this is not confined to the U.K. ) citizens being treated - ostensibly as criminals in their own country , and then being asked to provide evidence as to who they are – well that’s really, really going too far - and in my opinion - just further serves to further alienate people in their own country.

God is a D,J..........or so i'm told :)

When the word / acronym D.J. comes up – what normally springs to your mind ???
A self important motor mouth , who loves the sound of his own voice – maybe ,or what about - arrogant, big headed and never plays your requests .

I dislike stereotypes as you probably all know , so my own D.J. style is a little different and surprisingly - encourages requests , and people to bring their own
C.D’s along , but I must admit - that’s more to expand my own knowledge , more than anything else :).

This of course has its downsidel , as I get asked for all kinds of weird and wonderful stuff :) , thus - very , very occasionally I have to unfortunately - draw the line

Take last Friday – some of the kids turned up with a C.D. entitled Boards of Canada , and just the title, immediately piqued my interest , as its not really a normal title- is
it :)

It turns out The Boards’ are not Canadian or even made of wood :) , but instead a Scottish duo who named themselves , quiet imaginatively , after –
The National film Board of Canada , which I assume is a Government - film making organisation .

Anyway enough background - the music is electronic / ambient stuff , much liked by my Japanese friend Atsu , and not really suitable for a rock disco - I’m sure you will all agree , but as it was early in the evening - I put a track called Dayvan Cowboy – on , and it was excellent , especially as I found out later , the video on youtube was a guy skydiving from the upper atmosphere , and this fitted the music perfectly.

http://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=lrBZeWjGjl8

I’m glad my own D.J. policy works , as it truly opens me up to music I wouldn’t have normally had any association with , and of course it’s a two way system, and that means I can subject the world to my own musical tastes ……….

......S C A R Y………..:)

Invasion U.K.

Eddie Ball’s ……now there’s a name and a half :)

I just wonder what kind of person that particular name summons up to you all ..

…….a tough man who lives up to his name ………maybe ..????

……..well you decide…………

Eddie or Ed as he likes to be known , is actually a U.K. Government Minister , and was on television justifying the recent upping of the terrorist threat level at the weekend in the U.K.


He was saying - those very naughty …..Terr ’…..

……….sorry …Insurge’......

……no sorry …..Freed ’… Fig ’ :)


anyway :) ………. were now using little green Martians as suicide bombers , and this radical act was of course , totally and utterly unheard of in the history of the universe , and hence the slightly crimson alert :)

……… no………… no……… hang on ….

……….errrrr …..sorry ……its not Martians …..at all …..is it……….

…..it’s …Terminators …..errrrrr……no …wrong again ….sorry……

….sorry ………its women ……….…how stupid of me ………..:)

No - on second thoughts - it simply can’t be women , as even I have heard of female suicide bombers , but shape shifting - extraterrestrials - or time travelling killer robots , well that’s yet another kettle of fish .
This “ very serious development” of course - demands an in depth - further investigation from Eddie’s newly set up - Fiction Department of the Government , or alternatively - he could simply just go on television and say the first thing that comes in to his head :)

Hmmmmm - maybe his middle name is …. Load of……..

Eddie …Load of….. ..Ball’s…

…….definitely a man after his own name ……:)

( load of balls means - load of rubbish )

Sex.........what...???

It never ceases to amaze me how people look at things differently - take today for example…………………

We were sat in the office , and there was a photograph of a skimpily clad gal sat on the new Triumph motorcycle in one of the newspapers , and whilst I admit , the majority of the guy’s were checking out the models curves , yes you guessed it – yours truly was checking out the bikes curves :)

This brought to mind a conversation I’d had with a new , young - female union colleague as regards calendars with skimpily clad models on them , before political correctness has all but banned them all , and I must admit , I had at the time - a Harley calendar - with yes you guessed it skimpily clad - but not topless - models on it …….

…………………………. the shame…….the shame…… :)

Now - the honest fact that - I’d bought it for the bikes , and as far as I was concerned the models were in the way of the bikes - didn’t really cut any ice with my colleague , as I was now a……… “ sexist pig “ ………. end of story……. !!!

Sexism , like most “isms” is a two way street , a point which is usually glossed over by those on their “ high horse “ , and if we are going to live by these rules it simply must operate both ways , as the oppressor cannot be allowed to become the oppressed in our fair and equal society - can they………………..

Thus , and back to the story , I thought it was very strange that my “outraged “
union colleague, then chose to totally ignore a topless male , fireman’s calendar which was on open display.

I deliberately chose not to say anything at that particular moment , because I do not run around screaming ….sexism … racism…. etc… etc… unless I’m in full grasp of all the facts .

So I just waited until it had all calmed down , and then pointed out the fireman’s calendar to my union colleague, saying that it caused me no personal - offence , but I suggest that as a union rep’ - they should think very , very carefully before causing one sided - mayhem .

I think we are all - sexist and racist to a point , but then again , we simply cannot run around screaming discrimination on one hand . whilst condoning it on another .

To Dash or not to Dash

A few people on here have commented on my ………errrrrrr……….odd style of writing – recently :)

I don’t actually do this on purpose - just to have - for example - a different style from other people - it’s just the way it comes out of my head………..

…….psychologists please take note :)

I put this down to my own abstract view of things - plus an inordinate use of dashes / hyphens - usually - where words and commas should normally be - this of course breaks all the rules of English grammar - but In my defence - this is not an English class – thus I think - it adds to the flow of the piece - making it more of a commentary than a description - when you then - throw in my own - over zealous editing skills and laziness - of course .

There you have it ………

…“an abstract commentary - of bad English” ……

…..which sounds - for all the world - like a Shakespeare play - title ……….

……but gone - horribly wrong ...:)


….“ - Alas – poor - Yoric – I – knew - him – well - “... :)



Normal service, without ( as many) dashes , will be returned , soon ……

………or should that be……….. – soon :)

Onwards and Upwards………..supposedly :)

I notice in the wake of the recent Rage Against the Machine for Xmas no 1 campaign, a few new groups have been spawned from the people power success - noticeably a group called - Rage Against the Politicians.

This is in essence - a growing group of people refusing to vote in the next U.K. election. - something which - I have done for years, so it’s nice to have some like minded people around me.

Politicians and their supporters - will always tell you , that you must vote …..
……. blah… blah… blah ……. but if you remove all the rhetoric , they would , say this - wouldn’t they - as they’d be out of a job if you didn’t vote , which unfortunately is not true , as if only one person in the country voted , no doubt the lucky party in question would still be elected .

There has been a lot of talk about people here in the U.K. voting for The B.N.P ,
who are in essence a hard right group , bordering on the Fascist , or if your American
a good analogy is The Republican Party :) , and this vote is supposedly a protest against mainstream politics.

With all respect to our German friends on here , there’s a very un- politically correct English phrase which goes – “that’s how Hitler got started” - which usually applies to small minded English - bureaucrats , and believe me The B.N.P are far beyond that stage , and you only have to look to any fascist regime as to where that will all end .

Now – the German nation have unfortunately taken that long hard lesson , and that is what definitely , makes them a people – today :)

While unfortunately we in the U.K. have never been subject to Fascism , so in the usual English way - we go and vote B.N.P just to send a message - the problem being that message, is a legally binding , electoral vote - which will be counted - and that is highly dangerous.

So if you really, really want to send a message , and voting is your “ god given right “ - go and vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party , or better still - don’t bother :)

Skating Away on Thin Ice

I think I’ll put some nails through the tires of my bike - rather like the ice speedway bikes have - extreme thing to do you may think - but this is so I can get some more grip on the ice covered cycle track …..

The snow and ice have nearly all gone from my part of the world ………

…………well except for the inch thick , sheet ice which still covers the majority of the cycle track , and I was reminded of this fact , as I very slowly rode along the thawing sides of the track , by a small dog , running along the ice with each of its legs going in at least four different directions :) .

There is of course - still a sheet of ice outside my house as its north facing , and according to the news , there was some silly health and safety law passed here a while ago , saying that you are liable if you clear ice / snow off the path , and it subsequently freezes , and then someone falls over .

It is apparently , “ok” though , if someone falls over on the intact ice / snow – mind you , so it still sits - untouched with my own liability - assured , and of course a string of broken limbs at the local hospital .

Yet another “fine “ example of idiotic laws - overriding common sense .

I know people must have rights , but the accompanying “sue culture” is becoming not only stupid , but downright detrimental to all , as it removes the absolute need to think for yourself , and consequently it always becomes - someone else’s fault .

I know I have said this before , but I would have loved to been the judge sitting on one of the most high profile cases - in which some one crashed their car , as they never knew the coffee they were drinking was... hot !!!.....


Errrrrrrr……what did they expect the temperature to be …..absolute zero :)


I think the charge would have to fit the crime here …… so just for them ……


……Stupidity in The First Degree ………:)


…..and I’ll let you think of a suitable punishment ....


…..:or is simply just - drinking the coffee - punishment enough ….. .you decide :)

Around the World in 80 Products

If I were to say I’m reading a book called - Whatever Happened to the British Motorcycle Industry , you’d probably all dismiss it as being some sort of historical textbook , but like all things , this gets me thinking about other things , so please bear with me :)

I reckon a nation is probably summed up by the products it manufactures -

The Germans have a reputation for producing reliability

The Italians for style and flair .

The French tend to go their own way with most things :)

The Japanese are always hi tec

American products – tradition .

China – mass production .

The Swiss – precision.

……..ok…….ok……. so I lied about the 80 products , as I didn’t want to bore you :)

This takes me back to the U.K. , and of course my “historical text book “.

This book seems to sum this country up , both then and now - brilliant designers , with excellent products which are of course - badly managed , thus it is no surprise - that today - anyone with innovative ideas usually gets out of the U.K. …post haste….

So where does that leave us as a nation……………..

Well that’d be - leaning on our laurel leaves – as usual :) , although even the laurel leaves , seem to be all owned by overseas companies - now a days :)

This is of course , the majority of items which I see as been identifiably - British .
Like for example - Rolls Royce is now in German ownership , Aston Martin in American , several top premiership football ( soccer) teams are owned by various different nationalities , and of course – Bentley who are again in German ownership.

It really gets “serious” , when that stalwart of British comfort food - Cadbury’s
( chocolate manufacturer ) is currently subject to a hostile take over bid from American food giant - Kraft ………………..shocking ……..:)

I will say , and back to the book , we do still have a motorcycle manufacturer in Triumph , who are still surprisingly - British owned and manufactured , using amid many , many other things - the finest - Japanese and Italian products in their
bikes ……………..
………………hmmmmm…… ok we’ll let ‘em off on that technicality , as they have a Union Jack on their product …:)

I know I do tend to really, really over summarise things in these pieces , as I’m not writing a thesis , thus they are designed to get my point over , with a few facts and an injection of humour ???? , whilst trying to vainly keep peoples attention.

Now with the above in mind –

Here’s a bit of a minimalists challenge for you all – sum up world history in one word ………….I’ve got mine ……what’s yours ………….:)

Get’cha Motor Runnin’ .

I saw an interview with a Taliban Commander, in lieu of more troops being sent to Afghanistan – recently , and accompanying this particular piece was some stock footage that I had seen several times before.

This footage usually consists of several guys in traditional dress - riding motorcycles across the Afghanistan plains and through the villages - normal scene you may think - but these guys are armed to the teeth with Kalashnikov’s and grenade launchers - to name but a few items.

A motorcycle club in other words ……..ok let’s be very contentious and call them ………Terrrori …..no hang on - lets have ..CONTENTIOUS… with a very capital “C” in this particular case ……

.......Freedom Fighters M.C…… :)

Ok enough controversy, and on with the “real “ stuff …………

I do know one thing - considering the way we go on in this country . - I’m sure they wouldn’t get away with all this – “riding around enjoying themselves – business “ in the U.K.……oh…… no - no - no :)

Firstly - I think – our very own guardians of law and order - The Police , would definitely want a word with them about their lack of crash helmets , as this as you all know , is a grave offence in the U.K., with at least three penalty points on your licence and a fine of up to £50 , and would also need to check their licences and insurance too.

( In reality - The Police would probably just let this lot ride on by without a second glance , and end up machine gunning some poor innocent Brazilian electrician – instead !!!.)



Meanwhile , the list of charges go on – like the serious fact that - their various guns and weapons - aren’t stowed correctly in the correct British Standard approved cases , will raise a few searching questions too , and as for their flowing robes possibly catching in the wheels !!! – well your talking sharp intake of breath – serious – here with The Health and Safety Executive .




I reckon Freedom Fighters M.C.’s , social life would be pretty dire too , as turning up to for example – to the local Harley club …..on ….

….* GASP *……

………small capacity 100cc Chinese bikes !!! , not wearing the latest fashionable - leather jackets , would just get them all laughed at , and they can talk all they want about the muzzle velocity of AK 47’s - but this simply does not compensate for this simply unforgivable – faux paus :)



I think - you can keep your - water boarding , electrodes and thumbscrews , as the many years of practice by the fine people of this country in the fine art of ridicule, and the silly way the authorities work here – this country is probably not worth bothering with - especially if you’re a Brazilian electrician – and that’s no joke !!!

Obsessions…Obsessions…

Well - I decided to walk to work today , seeing as the deep, crisp and even stuff
( snow) is back with a vengence , and so are my two deer friends - hence my lack of food today , and yes - The ( I’m a ) Sucker Café is open for business - yet again :)

So after many , many hours of trekking through the white wilderness - hunger clawing at my heels :) …. I eventually arrived at work only to find several tins of sweets and
biscuits, which were obviously Xmas left over’s - in the kitchen , so this discovery boosted my moral as well as my waistline - no end :)

……….as did the passing comment from one of our external contractors that -

………. “ he loves coming up here , as we always have our priorities right ”…….

He was of course referring to that very English obsession - a nice cup of tea - which is always offered to him as he arrives… good old fashioned - northern hospitality ?
or are we just odd ……..answers and hate mail - to the usual address – please :)


This guy had set off from home at 5am in the snow , so I reckoned he deserved one just for getting here , and I even gave him a biscuit from the now - rapidly diminishing stock .

Hmmmmm………I reckon those pesky deer must have been in our kitchen :)

Dual Edged Sword

Wootton Bassett is a small town situated in the South West of England , and it is located near the airbase in which our troops , who have been unfortunately killed in action usually get flown in to.

Now - without exception , the majority of the population of this small town always turn out - rain or shine - to pay their respects , when one of our soldiers bodies, is sadly returned home.

Last night - I saw on the news , that a radical Islamic group had threatened to carry out a demonstration against the war , the next time this happened in Wootton Bassett , but it seems that our own government has effectively banned the demonstration, using legislation connected with preaching hate., and I will add that the demonstration was equally condemned at a high level of the Muslim faith – simultaneously.


I wholeheartedly believe in free speech , and the right to demonstrate against something you think is deeply incorrect , but there is a place and a time to do it , and
this is simply not it – in my opinion , and yes - as I’ve said before on several
occasions - I fundamentally disagree with the war.

What I will say is - I simply - cannot blame the soldiers that are sent there - for all the ill’s of war , as rightly or wrongly - it is their duty as soldiers to follow orders , nor will I disrespect their families , when they are unfortunately killed in the course of that duty - either .

The bottom line of this being - If you want to protest – please do so against the people who started and perpetuate this war - on both sides , i.e. the politicians and extremists - in a peaceful and civilised manner. , as anything else is wholly unacceptable to all .

Abstract

Just some abstract image i've been messing with :)

Rebel without a Cause

I thought very carefully about using this particular title in relationship with the following piece as it could be a little contentious – to put it mildly .

Surprisingly, and with all thoughts of the 1950’s biker movie straight out of the window ……… onward ……………………...

Fighting against the establishment isn’t a new thing , and you can forget your -
Che Guevara’s , Red Brigades and William Wallace’s of this world , as we have at least four biblical chroniclers , recording a certain person - peacefully undermining
the Roman authorities - on one hand , and doing something I think we’d all love to do – kicking money lenders ( bankers ) tables over - on the other :)

He was then subsequently - arrested , tried by a kangaroo court and of course - summarily executed …….some things never change ……. do they …!!!.

Then again he would have probably being regarded as a terrorist in today’s world ….

……errrr……sorry did I forget to mention that …….how silly of me :)

Jesus’s Revolution - if indeed I can call it that , as I’ve said was wholly peaceful at the time , but it was of course the idea that was dangerous to the state , and its ironic that this idea , has in time , become a faith that millions now subscribe to on a world wide basis.

Assuming that the bible can be taken as literal at least in parts - using grain of truth syndrome - I have to admire the guy who lead what became a worldwide
revolution , and the fact that the foundations of which still survive today …………

…………….oh yeah……….. I suppose the “fact” that he rose from the dead maybe had a little bearing on the latter too :)

I’m not suggesting that any religion is based on terrorism by the way , and I will not comment on any other religion , as this has been known to cause offence - I’m just drawing a few parallels between Jesus and several other figures who came after him - albeit from a modern perspective , and hence my title .

Yum...Yum...

Well here it is my lovely chocolate, selection box - packed full of artery hardening
cholesterol .:) , also pictured is the assortment of other things I could have chosen.

Like the - Xmas serviettes, empty green bottle or even the …..magnetic bracelet….
…..as I’m not pregnant :)

I have a confession - unfortunately I deleted the picture of the wonderful plastic table lights , which on the face of it , is probably just as well – considering - but I may get another photo to show you the real horror of this item :)

There were other things - like the usual array of - socks , scarves and
gloves , and of course - the odd things that people only seem to get at Xmas .

This included - a pen with a radio in it , which seemed like a good idea , until you found out the radio cord was too short , so you couldn’t listen and write at the same time :)

So I think my choice is pretty good - except I’ve eaten it all – heart attack ahoy :)




SEVERE WEATHER WARNING ! ! ! .
--------------------------------

The above phrase has become so common place in the U.K. recently , that its meaning has totally and utterly - disappeared , and is further reinforced by merest threat of a slight snowfall in the South of England - immediately has the B.B.C putting on a half hour program on about it …………

“Conveniently” - forgetting of course , that the rest of the country has had over eight inches ( 20cm) of snow covering it with sub zero temperatures , for at least two and a half weeks……………. with a forecast of more to come……and yes I’m back on my mountain bike in case you are wondering :)

I had a little wry smile to myself as the B.B.C. insisted on adding further fuel to the fire with their reporter, who was stood on a street with about half an inch ( 1cm ) of snow on the pavement , next to a road that was completely clear , and even had cyclists riding up and down it - reporting the doom and gloom .

What made it even funnier , was the reporter was saying in an almost hysterical tone that the authorities even had the army and police in , to help get food to the old
people !!!............

,,,,,,,,,,,.sorry I can just imagine the poor army breaking out the Snow Cats to drive along the perfectly clear and dry roads , passing all the old people going to the shops as they did so , both - wondering what on earth was going on ……………:)

Needless to say the snow never happened in the majority of the south , and the
B.B.C are back to merrily reporting the news - of a cat in a tree , a politician breaking a fingernail or a…………

……SEVERE WEATHER WARNING …

……..of light rain and a chilly breeze in the south …

…..F**K ME …………better call out the Navy :)

Assault and Battery

Now - after the Xmas holidays , we have had a few batteries of our vehicles go flat due to the cold weather , and of course them not being used for a while.

One of our work colleagues – Tom - was one of them .

So after what seemed like hours and hours of aimless searching , Tom couldn’t even find the battery on the vehicle to recharge it , so he eventually came in and asked for help.

We told him the battery was under the seat - so he then said …………..

……………..“ should I go and try to see if it will start – now “ …………

…………as if just locating the battery - miraculously charges it up……………….

There’s really no helping some people – is there :)




……..never mind your television set……
---------------------------------------------------------

There’s been a bit of a wind up campaign in our office , of which I played no part in – surprisingly , over re locating a printer in to the office of one of our workmates - Steve

Steve does not want it in his office , and he has threatened to throw it out of the window if it materialises…i kid you not ……

The printer is now sat in his office after the Xmas holidays , and I caught one of our senior staff and said….. ………….

………“I’d get that printer removed , before Steve comes back , as there is absolutely no work orientated reason for putting the printer in the office, and its been put there to merely - antagonise ” …………


But got the impression he was part of the wind up himself … !!!


Now - I’m always up for a bit of a laugh and a wind up as you all know , but tend to always steer away from people like Steve, who do normally not participate in the jolly japes , and are consequently not “fair game “ because of that .

So instead of him coming in on Monday and doing a Keith Moon impression :), I have removed the printer myself , as this one really isn’t really worth the trouble it will cause – believe me .

There is our course the fact - knowing my luck I’ll be walking under the window as the printer flies out of it....................

Horse Trading ……..Neigh :)

A certain person I know bought me a bottle of Southern Comfort ( So Co) for Xmas, which is unfortunate as I don’t drink :) , and I won’t mention who it was , but they also bought me some aftershave , when I had a beard , a few years ago :)

I don’t think this is a hint campaign by the way - merely forgetfulness on their own part :)
.
So we decided to do a little horse trading at work , otherwise my So Co would have been poured straight down the drain – prohibition style , and the empty bottle probably used as a Molotov cocktail against the politicians – Guy Fawkes style :)

Ha !!!!……I really , really need to get my own style- here - instead of copying :)

Ok – enough hysterics …..and I’ll cut to the chase……

Amid all the lurid tat on display at work , I think my So Co was probably the best item , although one of our admin’ gals had brought in a selection of gifts our ex boss had bought her .

This included a packet of - serviettes, an empty perfume bottle , two plastic table lights , and of course one of those magnetic bracelets that you cannot wear when your pregnant and guess what – she was pregnant at the time :)

The latter selection - I must admit was “tempting” - especially the empty perfume bottle for a mini Molotov - if I’m only feeling half hearted about a bit of anarchy :), but my choice in the end was a selection box of chocolates from Evil Don , who I knew was dying to get his hot sweaty hands on my
....So Co …steady on there… :)


There was of course a proviso ………..he returned the empty bottle…….. :)

Deep and Crisp and maybe not so Even :)

Fight Club …what’s that …exactly …???????……..:)

I’ve got myself an even better club – Mountain Bike Club , and unfortunately my very own alter ego broke the number one rule of it today …..the shame…..the shame. …………but its ok I’ll let him off :)

The main problem for me …...sorry …..sorry …..my alter ego….. is the 8 inches ( 20cm ) of snow which seems to have fallen over the last few weeks , and has stopped even my ego - dead in its mountain biking tracks , and hence the walk to work today.


Talking of the weather - I said yesterday that I came around by the police headquarters way - as the road there is always clear.

Well on the way home yesterday , I noticed there was an almighty traffic jam on it , and a police officer I know came up and said ……

…….“ what on earth is going on there ??? ” ……

So without thinking my …….errrr……alter ego ….. replied ………

“HA.. !!!........it must be all your specially trained - advanced drivers going home “


……….wooops ………….:)



Moving very swiftly on …….I was pushing my mountain bike up the hill after the above conversation , and had just been to the sports centre so I was wearing shorts .

So at the top of the hill there was a gang of local kids , and a few of them as kids do, made - light hearted comments about my bare legs and being cold.

Playing along I said…… “ your just a bunch of wimps - you lot” ……and got absolutely covered in snowballs for my sins …….told you I’d get my come up pence

……….ironic it was a gang of kids though :)

5.1.2010 or 5.1.10

It seems strange just putting just a 10 in the year part of the date ( above ) , as it just doesn’t look right , so I think I’ll stick with 2010 for the time being , well that is until I get sick of it and just start using just the ....10……….probably tomorrow …

……..or possibly now this second………….:)




…………5.1.10



Driven by the Plough
----------------------------------------------

Now judging by the title - I reckon your probably expecting some seasonal tale set in a pastoral England of the 1930’s , full of over acting and strange plotlines - here.

Well if you can call - me , some salami and cheese sandwiches and two deer - that ,
read on ……….. and be prepared to be - astounded , amazed and bedazzled …..

………..or not…….. :)

I was riding to work today on my ever trusty B.S.A * bicycle -
( * B.S.A stands for Birmingham Small Arms who made , bicycles and yes – guns, amongst many other things ) - in the newly falling snow, and decided to detour around by the police headquarters road as it is always clear , but then had to backtrack on to a snow covered road at the end of my journey.

This particular road - surprisingly - had one of those new fangled - steam powered snow ploughs on it , so I rode on the wrong side of the road as they do in the colonies - I believe , as it had already been cleared , and noticed two deer bolting across my path - obviously spooked by the snow plough .

Now according to that Darwin chap - Deer are normally pretty timid and elusive creatures , but this pair just stopped 20 or so yards (18 meters ) away from me on the car park and just stood looking………the confounded cheek of them ………

So I then wondered what these confounded animals were doing in this area , never mind not running away , and then it struck me , it had been snowing on and off for two weeks here and they were probably foraging for food.

So - two of those new fangled - salami and cheese sandwich’s - later at
The Soft Touch Deli ‘ , and they both seemed fairly happy.

I just hope they don’t tell their friends, as even the trusty B.S.A won’t outrun these chaps …………although maybe another B.S.A product is in order here ……..

hmmmmm……………

………venison for breakfast and a wonderful bonus trophy for the wall……..

………absolutely spiffing….. :)


Now - just to head off the politically correct - “I’m executing Bambi- hate mailers “ at the pass – this is a joke :) ………you know ……….HA…HA…HA ……

Harley '97

Providence

Well - i suppose i'm lucky , as the rest of our part of the world struggles to work after nearly two weeks of snow and freezing conditions , i 'm still at home on holiday :).

It was actually on Christmas Eve , I had the bright idea of taking today off - little knowing it would still be cold and snowy, as this kind of weather usually goes after a week.

So its off to the gym on my moutain bike for me - pretty soon - i've never ridden in 6 inches
( 15cm ) of snow , but i'd better get practicing for the trip to work tomorrow...........should be fun :)

Up in the Air

Nu photo is called -


Up in the Air



Dedicted to Atheist Ireland , and everyone else fighting for free speech around the world

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